If you guys haven't heard of these bands, then you really should give them a listen here.  They are two local bands from Edmonton and they are both insanely talented.  The first group is Amadan.  The link is here: http://www.purevolume.com/amadancanada 

Here you can find out some info about the band and take a listen to some of their mp3s.  Enjoy that.  The other group is called "five o'clock charlie".  You can access their website through this address: http://www.fiveoclock.ca/ or if you just want their mp3s, you can go here and listen to 2 songs: http://www.fiveoclock.ca/MP3.htm

Well enjoy the music.  I know I will.

Peace out.

C

My page will be under construction for the next little bit.  I will be changing it to a new theme but first I will watch madtv.

C

Hello all!

This is my newest look.  The picture that you see to the left and right (or right and left) of the screen is the lead singer of my favourite band and the man that I can only dream of marrying.  His name is Matt (or Matty like he likes to call himself) Thiessen and the band's name is Relient K.  Yes, that name is a car name but the car's name is spelt as Reliant instead of Relient.  You can read the whole story of how this name came about on their site if you want, or I can tell you quickly here.  Since I am nice, I will let you know here.  Matt Hoopes (one of the guitarists) used to own a Reliant K.  Therefore, they names the band after it but used the "a" because they didn't want to infringe on copyrights.  That's the whole story.

The band is comprised of 3 guys.  It used to be 4 but Brian Pittman (the bassist) left the group to follow different pursuits.  We don't know what they are though :(.  Mattt Thiessen is the lead singer, songwriter (for the most part.  The others write the occasional song), and lead guitarist.  Then there is Matt Hoopes (or the Hoopester as we RK fans like to call him).  He is the other guitarist.  Dave Douglas rounds out (or is it triangulates?) the group by being the drummer. 

They rock.  They are these wholesome Christian rockers that go out and jam for Christ.  I love these guys.  You can hear some of their new stuff on purevolume.com here:  www.purevolume.com/relientk

So yeah.  I'm gonna go to bed now.  I have church early tomorrow morning and it is getting quite late. 

Rock on!

C

Hey!

So I changed the background again.  This time it is of the whole group and the pic of the guy on my profile pic is the lead singer, Matt Thiessen. 

Well, I am off to vote and then work.

Ciao,

C

I am thinking of going to either Phoenix or Disneyland for my Spring Break this year and I was just looking at some of the tour dates for Relient K when I saw - Hey!  They are playing in Phoenix on February 17.  Guess what day my spring break starts??  February 21.  This officially blows big time.  I hate how things like that work out.  Hopefully they will come to Edmonton though.  I would love that so much. 

Anyways, I only have one more exam and it is tomorrow morning.  It is my Shakespeare one and I just found out today that I have been freaking out over it for no reason because it is only worth 10% of my mark.  I think that I should just relax now. 

Well, night all

C

Well, actually, as I write this, it is Christmas Eve for 21 more minutes, but still.  This is my favourite time of year and it isn't about the presents for me.  I know people complain a lot about the commercialism of the season, but for me it is about 3 simple things.  God, family, and friends.  This is the one time of the year that I see my cousin that lives in Phoenix and the one time I really get to celebrate with my friends.  I expecially love Christmas Eve mass because it is a time to say thank you to God and welcome the beautiful baby Jesus into the world.  It is a time filled with such wonder and joy and if you ever think that you have lost that feeling, look into a small child's eyes on Christmas morning. 

Is the season commercialized?  Of course it it.  But that's not the important part.  It is important to look at your priorities.  Mine are the three I just mentioned.  Let's not forget the real reason why we celebrate at this time of year. 

Merry Christmas (and not Happy Holidays or Happy Festivus {WTF is that anyways???})

Love ya!

C

It's kinda cool to get back to school now because I get to see my friends that I missed over the break, as well as meet a lot of hot new guys.  There is no one really comparing with B (the guy I like) though.  Too bad.  Well there is D and I have a class with him again, but I don't think that that will be happening anytime soon.  Meh.

My classes are as follows:

MWF: 8-9:Anthropology 101 (I'm not too sure about how much I will like this course yet).

MW: 11-2: Drama 149 (This class is gonna ROCK!!!)

MWF:2-3: It's a continuation of Shakespeare.

MWF:3-4: American Lit part 2 (This class is gonna be sweet.  I can't wait for it)

TR:8-930: Bio 101 (I haven't had it yet, so I'll let you know how it goes.)

So yeah, that's about it. 

C

(Rockin for Relient K since 2000)

Hey! 

So, at one point in time, there was no such thing as Spring Break for college and university students.  That was until some wonderful person noticed that a lot of kids were commiting suicide or having nervous breakdowns during the term due to stress.  Therefore, they created something called Reading Week, in which all students get time off and get to act like kids again.  Me-I'm leaving for Phoenix to see my beloved band, Relient K, play.  I have my plane ticket.  I have my concert ticket ordered.  I'm all set to go.  YAY!!!!  Only 20 more days until I get to go!!!! 

Peace.

C

That I fell into by mistake.  And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape!

That's right!  I need to get out of Edmonton and I will soon.  In 14 days time, I will have just been to the most amazing concert of my life and see Relient K, Mae, and Name Taken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't wait to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C

So, I am one week and a day away from seeing Relient K.  I can't wait for this trip.  I am just so excited.  It's my very first time travelling without my parents (or anyone else for that matter) and it's going to be the experience of a lifetime.  I don't have much time, so I thought that I would just drop you a line and update everyone.  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C

Hey all!

Well, in 2 days, I will be winging my way to see Relient K in Phoenix.  I can't wait.  I got my ticket for the concert in the mail yesterday.  That was awesome.  In the meantime, I have a midterm tomorrow and a paper due tomorrow.  Of all the times for something to be due, huh?

I also bought some new tunes a few days ago.  I bought the cds:

Hawk Nelson-Letters to the President (which I am actually listening to right now)

Casting Crowns-self titled

Olivia The Band-self titled

They are all quite excellent.  Thanks for hooking me up with the music Josh.  You rock!  Also, the plans for the Christian rock festival are moving forwards.  We are probably going to have it next summer.  It will be cool.  And we are trying to get Relient K to come for it.  That would just be my dream come true.  Hopefully we can get Hawk Nelson too.  They are wonderful.  Everyone should go and check them out. 

Well, I need to get back to work on my paper.

C

Hey all!

Well, as promised, here is my tale of my amazing time at the Relient K concert.  I was about 20 feet away from the stage.  I was out of the crowd a bit  so I didn't get pushed around or anything, which is good by me because I didn't want to get smooshed (is that a word??) up against anything.  Anyways, I bought a few things at the concert.  I bought a patch that Matty T actually designed, a t shirt that is blue, has a turtle on it, and a pizza slice (let's all go and have a pizza party!).  I also bought a zipper sweater that is black and says Relient K down one side of it, and I bought the EPs that are almost impossible to find.  I'm listening to the acoustic version of Softer To Me on the Creepy EP right now.  It's good because Matty T's voice sounds really sexy, but I really like the original because it is at a good pace.

Anyways, at the concert, there were two bands that opened.  They were Name Taken (which I hadn't heard before that night, but they were pretty cool) and Mae (whom I love and I discovered that they are coming out with a new album at the end of March, so buy it).  Then, the moment that I had been waiting for for about 4 or 5 years.  Relient K took the stage and I was in heaven.  They opened with my favourite song off the new album, Who I Am Hates Who I've Been.  After that, they sang a whole bunch of their new songs (like Be My Escape, High of 75, The One I'm Waiting For, Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet, Let It All Out, and I So Hate Consequences).  They sang Mood Rings, Chapstick, Chapped Lips, and Things Like Chemistry, In Love With the 80's (Pink Tux to the Prom), and Forward Motion from the Two Lefts Don't Make a Right, But Three Do album.  From Anatomy of Tongue In Cheek, they sang Sadie Hawkins Dance, and from the Employee of the Month EP, the sang A Penny Loafer Saved, A Penny Loafer Earned.  That last one that I mentioned is a tribute to Brian who left the band during the summer to open his own landscaping business.  I miss him, but what can you do?  I think that the choice of the song also probably comes from a tribute to Aaron Marrs.  He designed the cover for the EP and just before Christmas, his boat sank in the arctic. 

Anyways, the final song was I Am Understood? (which is one of my favourites) and the encore song was I So Hate Consequences and I have never been this happy in my life. 

Last night, I was talking to the manager of the band (his name is Jeff), and he told me that the band might be coming up to Canada this year.  I hope they come out my way.  I would be so freakin' happy.  And then I could meet the guys and get married to Matty T.  It works.  Right?

Well, I should run.  I have to work at 9am and it is 1230am my time right now. 

Love ya!

C

So Matty T wrote this amazing new song called The Calendar, The Energy (If This is You, then Woe is Me).  He plays it for his side project called Matthew Thiessen and the Earthquakes.  It is actually just him and his guitar and his piano but he likes to pretend that there is more to it.  Anyways, this song is actually extremely beautiful.  He has this way of writing these witty and creative lyrics that touch you in ways you would have never thought possible.  He brings religion, God, life, and everything else into perspective.  He makes you take account for your actions and it isn't like he's demeaning about it or anything.  He just tells you that you should soften your heart to the world and leave the judging up to God.  So, without further ado, here are the lyrics to this amazing piece of art.

The Calendar, The Energy (If This Is You Then Woe Is Me)

I'm looking at a photograph of heaven
And the personnel they let in
Expose the souls they're not afraid to show

I'll analyze the world and all it's people
Concluding everyone is evil
And I more so than anyone
I know
I have my faults
But I'd so much rather look at yours
And pretend I have none at all
But who am I kidding anyway

I won't give you the satisfaction
Of seeing me when I'm like this
Cause honestly you wouldn't like this
So close your eyes and watch me hide

I won't give you the satisfaction
Of seeing me broken and bleeding
A life that is barely still breathing
So close your eyes and watch me hide
Watch me hide

So I'll wander off where no one else can find me
And the silence will remind me
That this is more sobering than
I thought
I could hold on
To that old familiar lie that is
Pretending nothing's wrong
But who am I kidding anyway

And I thought it'd be okay
For innocence to melt away with age
But sometimes as you grow smarter
Your heart grows harder

The stupid things that those around us do
Often make us angry, and teach us not to follow suit
But just be sure your heart stays full
Not emptied out and cynical

Lately, yourself is someone you can't be
And I say if this is you, then woe is me

The link where you can find the song is here: http://www.purevolume.com/matthewthiessenandtheearthquakes.

Enjoy.  And the other 2 songs are awesome too.

C

Hey all!

So I found this new picture of Relient K and it made me really happy.  The new band members shown are Jon Schneck (formerly of Audio Adrenaline) and John Warne (formerly of Ace Troubleshooter).  Both are really cool and talented guys. 

I'm really gonna miss Brian, but what can you do?  It's at least good that the guys mention him at the shows though.  I mean, we all knew that A Penny Loafer Saved is A Penny Loafer Earned was a tribute to him. 

Anyhoo, I decided to update my blog and I really like what I've found.  It's simple, yet cool.  What do you think?

C

PS: Everyone should go out and listen to Green Day's cd American Idiot, but more importantly, go out and listen to Relient K.  They can cheer you up on the gloomiest of days and make you feel even better on the best.  Yay for them!  Especially Matty T.  The world is a better place because of him.

PPS:If you are interested in seeing the rest of Relient K's new pictures, just let me know.

Hey all!

So, after my last post about how stupid boys can be, I must tell you that I know one fantastic guy.  Coincidentally, his name is also Brad.  But this Brad is good.  He was telling me last night that he is gonna try to start up a band this summer and I was like "Well, if you need a singer, then you know where to find me ;)."  And then he was like "Well are you any good?"  From there on, I told him all my experience and then he was like "Well, do you know how to write songs?"  So I said, "My sister and I have before.  I could try to write some songs."  In the end, I discovered that he plays the bass and he will teach me how to play for FREE (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I might end up playing with and singing for the band.  This should be sweet if it happens.

C

This weekend has been such a beautiful and peaceful one.  It all started on Good Friday when I went to mass.  Mass was so touching but at the same time, it felt like there was a great loss.  That could be the fact that we were in mourning.  Anyways, at one point in the mass, we were lining up for the exhonoration (I think that's the right word) or the cross so that we could pay our respects when I saw the most beautiful thing ever.  A man that looked like he was homeless (I live in an affluent area, so people don't normally look like he did when at church) came in and he knelt at the cross and kissed it.  It was like God was speaking through this man.  He just shone with love and compassion.  It was truly God's work in our little church on Good Friday. 

Saturday was an okay day.  I ended up just working from 9-530 and then I rented some movies.  They were pretty good.  Finding Neverland was an excellent movie. 

Today (Easter Sunday) is the most holiest of holy days in the Catholic church and we were really celebrating it in mass today.  Today and Christmas are my favourite holidays in the year.  They are both so magical and glorious that it's hard not to feel the love of God. His love is so powerful and graceful that it is impossible to ignore it.  Every year brings an even greater possibility for growth and life and I embrace it each time.  Jesus' death and resurrection bring me that hope for a life after what I live on earth.  He gives me my salvation and He does it every year.  Today, after mass, I celebrated Easter Sunday with my family.  My family includes my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, Diana (my brother's girlfriend), Mactin (which is pronounced Martin and is my sister's boyfriend), my great uncle Herman, and our neighbours from across the street who are like grandparents to us kids.  This is only a small portion of the people that we wanted with us.  I have found over the years that the closer friends become, the more they become family.  My immediate family has 5 members.  I have about 300 relatives.  My family total comes to a lot more though.  There is more to a family than blood lines and I learn that every Christmas, birthday, Easter, and New Year. 

To leave you guys with a quote that I love (brace yourself.  It's from a Relient K song), I give you my favourite line from Be My Escape form the Mmhmm cd:

"But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair"

Matthew Thiessen is a brilliant man. 

Happy Easter everyone.

God Bless.

C 

Yay for the new video being up.  You can view it on the myspace page.  Yay!  Oh, and I talk with Jeff (the manager) tonight and he said that the guys like this video, but hated My Girlfriend.  In fact, the reason why we can't find it anywhere is because the guys don't want people to see it.  Too bad.  It cracked me up like nobody's business.

C

Today the world heard the saddest news.  Pope John Paul II died after his long battle with Parkinson's and a short but vicious battle with an infection.  Seeing that I am a Roman Catholic, this has affected me tremendously.  This amazing man changed the world. Over the course of the past few days, I have found myself defending my religion non stop.  I have also been defending my religious leader non stop.  Pope John Paul II was one of the greatest men that ever lived.  He did so many things with his life.  He was an actor and a stonecutter as a young man, he was a writer, an advocate for the sanctity of the individual as well as human rights, he travelled the world over to spread the word of God.  He even brought upon the fall of communism. 

On the Relient K message boards, the truth of what some people are really like is coming out right now.  Their nastyness is showing through.  They have mocked this man, his religion, everything that he ever stood for, and now they are questioning whether or not he went to heaven.  They are also saying "Is the Pope even a christian?"  People who behave like this make my heart sick.  They are just being arrogant jerks, but they should still have respect for this amazing man. 

May Karol Jozef Wojtyla rest in peace.  May God cradle him in his arms forever.  And may all the angels sing him to his rest.

God bless everyone.

C

Hey all!

So I have some super-de-dooper fantastic news to share!  I just found out today that I have accuired conditional acceptance at the University of Alberta.  Thank god I got in.  I didn't even apply anywhere else. 

Soon my official transcripts will go through and everything will be good.

C

1) Relient K still rocks.  Especially Jon Jacob Jingle Heimer Schneck (aka Frodo).

2) Weezer still has it.

C 

It's a good thing when you get the orientation booklet from the university that you applied to, right?  I hope so. 

C

I got a coffee today (surprise surprise) on my break.  He was there.  He stopped and talked to me.  Why does his smile have to give me butterflies?  Why does his voice have to give me butterflies?  I hate the butterflies.

Who am I kidding?  I love the butterflies.

Tomorrow my brother is leaving for Ottawa for 2 months.  Ever since my sister moved into her own place, me and my brother have gotten a lot closer.  We were without my parents for a couple of weeks because they went on a vacation and we became really good friends.  I'm gonna really miss him.  I don't know what I'm gonna do when he gets married and moves on with his life.  Just so everyone knows, as you get older, you become closer with your siblings.  You become their friends.  I hate saying goodbye.

I do know that this is the right thing for him though.  And I am so proud of my big brother.  He's become a man.  And I know that after he takes this french course that he is taking over there, he will become one of the best cops the world has ever seen.

Oh, and I'm really missing j-dog these days.  Can I swim across the pond to see you?  I wish that I would win the lottery so that I could meet up with you.  But, that would involve playing the lottery first and since I don't have money to play the lottery (because I should really stop buying books and coffee but you know I can't) it doesn't seem very likely that I will be joining you.  That and the fact that I am gonna see Relient K in 15 days. 

And this is where the happy part comes in.  In 15 days, I will not only go on my trip of the summer, but I will also go and visit my old boss who I just adore.  Also, there is the minor part of me seeing the best band that I have ever heard in my life.  Yes, that's right.  I'm going to see Relient K at the Warped Tour.  Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'm so happy about that. 

The happy part doesn't equal the sad though.  I'm gonna miss my big bro. 

I just found this little news article while looking up reasons why Shakespeare is being banned in some schools.  I expected some reasons to be the fact that his plays involve a lot of things that my old Shakespeare prof would refer to as the "naughty bits" or the fact that his plays are very political at times.  The following are the reasons why some plays were banned in Johannesburg:

(My repsonse to the reasons will be in the pink colour)

Hamlet Not optimistic or uplifting. Characters not appealing to modern pupils as royalty is no longer fashionable (Okay, there is a reason why it's called a tragedy.  And about the comment on it not being uplifting?  Well, have they actually ever READ the play?  It's freakin' hilarious.  You just have to look carefully.  For example:
KING CLAUDIUS:Now, Hamlet, where's Polonius?

HAMLET: At supper.

KING CLAUDIUS:At supper! where?

HAMLET:Not where he eats, but where he is eaten: a certain
convocation of politic worms are e'en at him. Your
worm is your only emperor for diet: we fat all
creatures else to fat us, and we fat ourselves for
maggots: your fat king and your lean beggar is but
variable service, two dishes, but to one table:
that's the end.

KING CLAUDIUS:Alas, alas!

HAMLET:A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a
king, and cat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.

KING CLAUDIUS:What dost you mean by this?

HAMLET:Nothing but to show you how a king may go a
progress through the guts of a beggar.

KING CLAUDIUS:Where is Polonius?

HAMLET:In heaven; send hither to see: if your messenger
find him not there, seek him i' the other place
yourself. But indeed, if you find him not within
this month, you shall nose him as you go up the
stairs into the lobby.

KING CLAUDIUS;Go seek him there.[To some Attendants]

HAMLET:He will stay till ye come.
[Exeunt Attendants]

(IV.iii. 16-40)

And of course we can all remember the hilarious attributes of Act 2, scene 2, in which Hamlet mocks Polonius and the latter has no clue what is happening.  After all, Hamlet calls him a "fishmonger" (II.ii.174) and he doesn't get it! 

I just don't understand the way some people think.)

King Lear Not exciting. Full of violence and despair. Ridiculous and unlikely plot. (Okay, so I hated this play, but it is still worth a read.  I can't believe that it was labelled as "not exciting".  When you have a character named "Edmund the Bastard", I expect a fun play.  Plus there is always the necessary disguise trick used.  It's interesting.  It's worth the opportunity to study it.  And of course it's about violence and despair.  IT'S A TRAGEDY!  Plus, there is a WAR going on.  Also, this play has a really interesting torture scene in which Gloucester gets his beard plucked and his eyes ripped out.  You can read more in depth about this in Act 3, scene 7.)

Julius Caesar Sexist because it elevates men (Wow.  A play that takes place during the Roman Empire elevating men?  It's a part of the history of the world.  Get over it.)

Antony and Cleopatra Racist and undemocratic (Now this just makes me giggle.  Okay, so they call her a gypsy (I.i.10), but still.  This isn't a hugely racsist play.  For the most part, they just call Cleopatra a whore.  It's funny.  Oh, and about the fact that it's undemocratic, she was the Queen.  She made the decisions.  As for triumvirs, in all honesty they really weren't worth their weight in gold.  None of them did anything.  They weren't all powerful.  Mark Antony gave in because of a woman.  How sad is that.  It's no reason to ban the play though.)

Othello Racist and sexist. A bleak and pessimistic tone (And back to the fact that it's a tragedy.  It's depressing for a reason.  And racist because of the fact that it was wrong for a black man and a white woman to be together at the time that it was written.  It's all in the context people.  It's called using your brain. 

Here is the link that I found this information at: http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,6109,474398,00.html

People make me so mad sometimes.  I just wish that people could understand Shakespeare.  It isn't that it's bad or boring.  It's just that people that don't take the time to look at it carefully and find the joy in it.  You can look at all the comedies in the world to find that joy, but when you find it in the bleakest moment of a play, it's even more special.  When you need that laugh to break the tension, you know that you are watching/reading something real.  And it's so cool to be a part of that experience.  Moreso than just reading the frilly plays that leave everyone all happy at the end.  And I'm not saying that anything is wrong with people liking the comedies.  I love comedies.  But I love my Hamlet.  And no one can mess with that.  The real magic of Shakespeare is being able to find that passage in The First Part of King Henry the Fourth that makes you laugh.  It's in Falstaff's crude behaviour that you find the funniest lines of the most boring of plays.  That's the important thing to look for.  Look for the good.

And now to finish up, my Shakespeare prof would kill me if I didn't do this.  Here is my "Works Cited":

Bevington, David. The Complete Works of Shakespeare (fifth edition). Pearson Longman. New York, NY: 2004

(I think that I did the right.  I didn't have my other text in front of me to tell me if I fudged it up or not.  I probably did.  I don't think I ever did one correctly for the good Dr.)

Yay!!!!!!!!!!  My boys were on Jay Leno.  It was flippin' fantastic.

Jay said the name of the cd wrong though.  He called it "Mmmm" instead of "Mmhmm"  THERE'S A FLIPPIN H IN THE NAME!

Matty T looked like he was about to cry because of nerves at the beginning but it all went well.  They didn't show too many closeups of Jon, John or Dave and that made me sad. 

Matty almost dropped the mic.  That was funny.  Hoopes headbanged a little.  It was awesome.  Jon's mohawk looked fan-freakin'-tastic!  John did a great job.  Matty hit all the right notes. 

I am so proud of my boys.  Yay for them!  And now I'm gonna go watch it again in my time zone (yay for satellite!)

I totally stole this from my dear friend msdania...

1. Pick a band and answer only using the band's song titles:
Relient K

2. Hows your life:
Softer To Me

3. Describe how you feel about yourself:
More Than Useless

4. Your best piece of advice: 
Less Is More

5. Describe your last relationship:
Apathetic Way To Be

6. Describe your current crush:
High of 75

7. Say something to someone you have a crush on:
Sadie Hawkins Dance

8. Say something to an ex:
My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend

9. Say something to someone you hurt severely:
Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet?

10. Say something to someone who has helped you:
Failure to Excommunicate

Hey guys

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

This is a great site.  Check it out if you can.  Some people might not be able to get through it all and that's totally okay.  It takes a lot out of you to read some of these comments.  I know that I see a lot of myself in some of the posts.  Its frightening but liberating at the same time. 

I'm looking for my postcard.

I just hope that I can be as brave as other people...

I read this on myspace tonight.  I liked what I read.  Hopefully more guys out there think like this guy here...

Stop being so hard on yourselves. I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... becaues it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, huge boobs, round ass, long legs, big lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop being dicks... just because we have them doesn't mean we need to think with them.


If you agree, repost this to get the message through to others...

For some reason, I am in love with this song by Daniel Powter.  It's called Bad Day.  Everyone should go and listen to it right now.  It's so beautiful.  And the video is wonderful. :)

Ciao,

Caz

Hey guys!

I really really need everyone to say a prayer for my best friend.  He is working on becoming a chef and on Monday, he has an interview at this really nice hotel in the mountains.  It's called the Banff Springs Hotel.  He's really excited but he's also nervous.  Anyways, I think that this would be such a great opportunity for him, so if everyone could please pray that he gets this job (or that it leads to other jobs) I would be a really happy camper. 

Night,

Caz

Hey guys,

I just found another interesting comment on myspace.  Lately everyone has been talking about abortion.  I personally don't agree with it.  I am really against it actually.  I believe that a child is alive from the moment of conception and that any harm brought towards them from that moment on is a crime.  To me, abortion is murder.  I know that a lot of people disagree but I really hope that if the message of what it truly is gets around to everyone, that the world will see the error of it's ways and realize how important life truly is.  God created it.  Whatever God creates is sacred.  Especially life. 

Please read and think about this if you are pro-choice.  And if you are pro-life, please read and remember why you believe that everyone's life is sacred.  Please pass this message on.  The world needs to know the truth and it is time that we shared it with them.

Here is an actual account of a nurse who witnessed a partial birth abortion:


In September, 1993, Brenda Pratt Shafer, a registered nurse with thirteen years of experience, was assigned by her nursing agency to an abortion clinic. Since Nurse Shafer considered herself "very pro-choice," she didn't think this assignment would be a problem. She was wrong. This is what Nurse Shafer saw:




" I stood at the doctor's side and watched him perform a partial-birth abortion on a woman who was six months pregnant. The baby's heartbeat was clearly visible on the ultrasound screen. The doctor delivered the baby's body and arms, everything but his little head. The baby's body was moving. His little fingers were clasping together. He was kicking his feet. The doctor took a pair of scissors and inserted them into the back of the baby's head, and the baby's arms jerked out in a flinch, a startle reaction, like a baby does when he thinks that he might fall. Then the doctor opened the scissors up. Then he stuck the high-powered suction tube into the hole and sucked the baby's brain out. Now the baby was completely limp. I never went back to the clinic. But I am still haunted by the face of that baby. It was the most perfect, angelic face I have ever seen. It didn't have a choice."
-From CBN news


Please think about that before you say that unborn children can't feel pain.

PASS THIS ON IF YOU BELIEVE ABORTION IS WRONG


"Life is life, no matter how small, and unseemingly insignificant."
-Dr. Suess

And it's so true.  I don't hate my boss.  He's just a jerk.  So I don't like him.  He has only done one or two truly mean things while being manager.  He demoted Josh which was the worst thing that anyone has ever done in the history of the store, and he told Pam that if he was in charge of hiring when she started working for the company, she would never have been called back, even for a second interview.  The rest of the time, he's a grumpy guy.  I never see him smile.  Ever.  He's like a flippin' robot. (insert robotic voice here) *I must show no emotion for I am a big important manager.  All must adore me* (remove robotic voice here).

Everyone is quitting right now.  It's mostly school.  Some people are moving on with their lives.  I quit "because of school hours."  At least that what I told him.  And it's true to an extent.  But still.  I've wanted to quit since the beginning of the summer.  And so now I have put in my notice.  It's funny because no one expected me to do it.  And now people are coming up to me all sad and being like 'You can't go!"  It's like well, tough shit.  I'm leaving.  WOO!  And my boss is being a complete baby about the whole thing.  He's sulking because his staff is quitting.  He is unprofessional.  Yay for only 6 more shifts.  That means I only have 48 hours left to work there.  I'm so excited.  I finish on Sept 3.  Yay!

~Caz

Relient K just played Be My Escape on Jimmy Kimmel.

Jimmy Kimmel = the most disgusting man on earth.

Relient K = everything good and lovely about life.

Relient K was amazing.  Jon's hair was so cool.  And he has the cutest little faces when playing guitar.

John's hair was blinding him.  Which was really funny and cool.

Hoopes looked as cool as a cucumber.  He did fabulously.

Dave was wearing a shirt which made things a little weird for me.

Matt was pretty.  And he did a fabulous job.

I love my boys.

Three more shifts in hell.  That means that I only have 24 more hours to go at work.  Yay for Saturday being my last day!

Oh, I might apply at the Disney store that will be opening up at the mall soon. :)

1)It's okay to try new things.  This summer, I tried thai food, met new people, and I tried a different position at work.  It was a very interesting summer. :)

2)It's okay to stand up for myself.  I learned that very quickly at work.  Especially in the administrative office.

3)It's okay to listen to music outside of your little comfort zone.  At the beginning of summer, I was basically just listening to my old stuff (aka RK).  Now, I'm listening to a bit of metal, a bit of hardcore punk, more jazz, opera, folk, country, Indian music, and even some rap.  It's craziness. 

4)"The end will justify the pain it took to get us there"- Let It All Out (by Matthew Thiessen).  I worked my ass off all summer.  I hated my job.  And I really really wanted out.  Now I am getting out and I've learned so much about myself this summer by working in hell. :)

5)I can be anything I want to be.  I can be an admisitrative worker.  I can be a star employee on the floor.  Or better yet, I can be happy.

6)It is possible to be outgoing without acting like a whore.  I just kinda shake my head at my co-workers.  Everyone knows me and respects me though.

7)I'm finding out who I am more and more every day.  And it's a good thing too.  Somebody on this planet should understand me and I think that it should begin with me.  I'm slowly figuring it out.

8)I don't need a label to be cool.  I'm not a scene kid, emo, goth, punk, preppy, or whatever the hell you want to label me as.  The only things that you can label me as are "a child of God" and "myself".

9)I'm hot and I don't need a guy to tell me that (even though it would be nice).  I'm proud of myself.  I'm happy with the way I look.  Well, I'm getting there.  I can put on a pair of sexy heels and hit the town.  And I don't need a guy to be there to tell me how I look.  I wouldn't mind one though.  But I know that I can survive without him.

10) I've discovered in my last month at work that I don't need acquaintances to survive life.  I don't even have to talk to them.  This past summer, though, I 've learned that I need my friends to keep me sane.  J- Faulkner did it in 5 words.  I'll do it in 4.  This is the most important sentence in this item on the list.  Thank God for friends!

Well, I hope that everyone had a good summer.

Good luck with school all!

~Caz

I know that I've posted about this song before, but I really feel like I need to vent tonight about it.  So here it is.  The song that describes my love life at the moment is John Mayer's song "Love Song for No One."  Here's how it goes...

Verse 1

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

Okay.  So I spent my entire summer sitting at home.  I don't go out and party or meet people.  I know that this is my fault a lot of the time, but I still feel lonely and I wish that I had someone to go to. 

Crushes are fading fast and some days it feels like I will never find the perfect man for me.  I mean, I found some guys with the qualities that I am looking for, but none of them have that one little important aspect, like being single, going for them.  And I'm not going to sit here and pretend that it doesn't affect me.  It sucks.  I'm not one to dance around the bush here.  It sucks that I can't seem to meet any single guys to fall in love with.  I know that he's out there somewhere, but I just can't find him.

refrain

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

See above about suckage. :(

Verse 2

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I have always been one to believe in love at first sight though.  I'm a really big believer in it.  It's just that I haven't met anyone really who gave me that feeling of WOW lately.  I met one guy once who made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the room.  Too bad he ended up dating someone else. :( 

I always look at my parents and my sister and her boyfriend.  They all just knew from the moment that they met that they would change each others lives.  It's all terribly romantic and I feel like I don't deserve their fairy tales at all.  But I still want it.  I get the feeling that when I meet the right guy though, I'll know it when I see him. 

bridge

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

Sometimes I think that I might have met him and lost him.  I really hope that I haven't. 

Yeah.  Sorry to be such a downer on a Saturday night.  I just felt like I needed to write about that. :)

Boys can be so oblivious.  I saw him yesterday.  We were having a pleasant chat about how the weather seemed to be rainy and it was raining on us and I had to walk in that rain a few blocks down to where my ride was waiting. 

He told me some story about how me and his gf's roommate have the same major.  I wanted to tell him that I didn't give a shit.    And that I'd rather have him date me instead of his gf. 

Good thing the weather was rainy because that way no one could see that I was ready to cry when I walked away.

I need to find a guy that is a million times better than him.  I wonder if one exists...

So today one of my friends told me that a friend of theirs passed away last night. 

It was a really stupid thing to die from too.  He fell down a flight of stairs, got brain damage, and then during the organ donor surgery, they lost him.

And as my friend is telling me this, all I can think is "I don't know what to say." I've never lost a close (and young friend) due to a death before. 

And then I started to think "If I can't even help out my friend now, then what use am I going to be when I'm a chaplain?"

And then my friend blurted out that yesterday was the first time in a year that they had gone to church on their own.  And enjoyed mass.  It's crazy how people blurt out things like that to me.  I don't know what it is about me that makes them want to tell me these things.  It could be because we are the same denomination.  I was telling them about this thing called the Living Rosary today.  I think that I might ask them as one of my 3 people I have to get to join.  I told them that I don't have a lot of friends that are Catholic.  It's sad that I don't know that many.  But it makes me want to be more evangelical and get my friends that are Catholic to be loud about it (like me).

But back to my friend...

They were really shaken up about this.  This guy was only 21.  He had a huge life ahead of him.  And now he is with God.  How sad it is for us, but how wonderful it must be for him. 

I ended up buying my friend a coffee.  It was the least I could do. 

Have you ever seen a guy look so dejected and close to tears but is refusing to cry?  Well that was my friend today.

- Caz

Jon = <33333333333 Matt's hair = <333 This picture = <333

These are 3 pictures from the new music video.  It's on Yahoo Launch.  Go check it out.  It's fantastic!!!  And Jon and Matt look hot in it! :)

Ask me four questions. Any four, no matter how personal, private or random.

I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.

In turn, you post this message in your own journal (if you have not already) and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

Of course I am the Bridget Jones without the dashing Mark Darcy being kind to her at a dinner party but I am Bridget Jones anyways. 

I went to a dinner party tonight.  I learnt once more how much I hate being stuck at a small table with 6 other couples.  I HATE SMUG COUPLES!  It's so frustrating to sit there and watch them all together.  I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.  I love my sister and all, but I didn't need to sit through that evening.  And to make things worse, I had to sit next to my brother's girlfriend.  She doesn't talk to me.  She hasn't really since I quit my job.  We never actually talked at work either though.  She's still there and I've moved on.  She's still an annoying bitch that doesn't deserve my brother and I am told to tolerate her and don't say anything to her.  So I don't.  It was a very quiet dinner. 

I hate my social life. 

Well, next Saturday should be a bit more fun.  Hopefully.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. 

I hope everyone else's turkey day was as wonderful as mine. :)

So I know that I should have been paying attention during mass today but it was so hard for me to do so.  He was there.  And he was sitting like 5 pews in front of me.  When I was coming back to my seat after receiving communion, he smiled at me.  :)  And then he smiled again after mass when he was leaving.  GAH!  He makes my knees tremble when he smiles at me.  My reaction reminded me of this one quote from Dawson's Creek:

Pacey (about Joey): She's so beautiful that when you look at her your knees tremble, your heart melts, and you know, without reservation, that there is order and meaning to the universe.

That is one of my favourite lines from the show and that's how I felt during mass today.

Well, have a good Sunday everyone. :)

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

To realize the value of a parent:
Lose one.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.
 
~Unkown

So I changed my layout again.  My dear friend Just showed me this picture and I fell in love with it.  I plan on pre-ordering the EP today.  If I don't, then oh well.  But I probably will.  Anyways, let me know what you guys think. :)

I just wrote up my mission statement for being a Catholic school teacher.  It's for a reflection paper for one of my classes.  Here it is. Let me know what you think.

As a Catholic school teacher, I will work towards enabling my students to grow both mentally and spiritually to the best of my ability throughout the years they are under my tutelage.  I promise to remain open and understanding towards their needs and situations while creating a safe and comfortable learning environment.  I will work towards helping them discover their vocation and their peace with the Lord.  My door will remain open when students are in need of a friend and closed while they divulge their problems to me.  I promise to remain in the hallway until the last student leaves for the day, ensuring that no student is left at my doorway seeking advice.  I will live a Christian life and honour the commandments set before me so that my students and colleagues may see God’s work through me. I will love and honour God and His will all the days of my life.

You are Vanilla Pudding. As "The Complex
Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind:
According to Relient K" puts it,
"She's not as rich as Tiramisu, she's not
as tangy as a Lemon Tart, she's not as
complicated as a White Chocolate Hazelnut
Cheesecake, or as exotic as Walnut Baklava. As
far as dessert goes, she's regular Vanilla
Pudding... not too crazy and not too
bland." "She is a nice, normal,
average girl. She's the proverbial girl next
door."

"Time to get up and do your reading!"

"I missed my bus but it wasn't my fault this time.  Honest.  The bus was early.  I'm cold."

"I'd love to Pooh!"

"Breathe!  Fr. Penna is still alive!"

"I hate Greek tragedies."

"Leave him for the dogs and cows." "That's CROWS sweetheart"

"Psst...it says 40% ASS on the board!"

"Why won't Antigone just die already???"

"My best friend is an idiot."

"Now just relax while I put your neck back into place."

"Macaroni salad is yummy"

"Overstimulation leads to a loss of sensation"

Yeah.  That about sums up my day.

Hey!

So this evening me and my best friend were talking about baby names that we really like.  We told each other that we would put the ones that we liked the most up on our blogs.  Mine are:

Girl: Anna (which is my first choice), Megan (but pronounced Mee-gan), and Ella. 

Boy: Daniel, Jonathan, Gregory, James, Euan (pronounced You-an)

So this evening I watched The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.  I totally was ready to cry when Carmen unloaded on her dad. 

Then I sat and watched 4 episodes of House in a row.  I love that show.  the names James and Gregory came as inspiration from watching that show.  Yay for that! If you haven't seen this show, then you are seriously missing out.

Well, enjoy the extra hour of sleep that we all get tonight.  Yay for Daylight Savings time.  Well at least yay for us who get it. :)

You Are Most Like Mark! You are a very quiet, yet
loud and exciting at times, person who like's
to keep there emotions to themself. You have a
fasination with almost everything and everyone
around you and you are often caught filming
these people/events with a video camera. You
feel you must be the foundation of everyone and
try to hide from your emotions.

http://quizilla.com/users/casanova227/quizzes/What%20Character%20from%20the%20musical%20'RENT'%20are%20you%20most%20like%3F/

You know this fabulous musical inside and out! You
rock!

http://quizilla.com/users/BroadwayPixie/quizzes/Are%20you%20addicted%20to%20RENT%3F/

What RENT song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

University is hell.  I hate booking courses.  I'm at 3/5.  All the ones I need are booked up already.  And I have to take a -ugh- first year course.  I'm taking a 100 level course.  Kill me now.

In better news, I'm listening to the new RK ep.  It's beautiful.  Seriously beautiful.

I'm being such an emo kid today.  I don't want to talk to anyone and when I do talk to them, I'm ready to cry.  And I keep telling them that nothing is wrong.  But that's a big fat lie and we all know it.  My family just wouldn't get it.  I don't think that anyone would.  Emotions kinda suck at times.  Especially when you can't express them.

I have never been this disappointed in my life.  I was really let down.

I suck at life.  And the thing that I suck even more at than life is losing weight.  As you can tell, I had my weigh & measure day at the gym.  Needless to say, I ate study food for the past 2 weeks and I saw the results.

It wouldn't be so bad though, if only my mom hadn't kept talking about how it was "only 2 pounds" and that I "only get out of it what I put in."  And then she keeps asking me why I am so tired and stressed out these days.  It's like "Well, let's see...I have a paper due on monday that is supposed to be 6000 words and another paper due on Friday (thank goodness that it is only 5 pages).  Oh, and let's add exam stress to all of that. 

Today I feel like I failed at life.  And now I'm some fucking emo kid that I want to punch in the face...

My friend who I haven't even met remembered me and did the best thing ever for me.

It was just a simple phone call that didn't cost that much but it meant so much more. 

I still am radiating with joy about this.  (You should see my and Jacqui's notes to each other in CHRTC 250)

She shared the love with me all because she knew that I was bummed about school, life, and the fact that I couldn't see my boys.

It was the best night ever. :)

I saw RENT tonight.  Wow.  I'm so glad that it didn't suck.  Why does Ant Rapp have to like boys?  It makes me sad. :(

I'm in love with RENT all over again.

I had my interview at Chappy's today.  It was effin' awesome.  I kicked major assage there.  w00t for me. :)

Yay!  I got the job at Chappys!

(wtf is up with the "it is yay" tag?  That one just showed up so I found it amusing)

So I started my new job today.  It wasn't as cool as I was hoping for it to be. :( 

In fact it blows.  It felt like being back in elementary/jr high.  I didn't fit in.  I don't get to dress and act the way I want to.  I have this crappy ass dress code to follow. 

I have 90 days and then I will be leaving them.  I'll probably just go back to HMV.  At least all the bad people are gone.

The countdown begins today.

90 days.

I am for the very first time, and probably the last time, the owner of a pair of black socks. 

Kill me now.

Maybe the job won't be as bad as I'm expecting it to be. Or it could be worse.  But I promised Jacqui that I would be optimistic. So it has to be better than Sammy's job.

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

John Lennon

October 9, 1940- December 8, 1980

exams suck.  why can't we all just get gold stars and a pat on the back with people saying "yay for you!  you managed to stick it out for a term!"  oh wait.  that was edfx 200.  instead, i have to pay someone to tell me that i fail at life because i didn't do up to par with their fucking test.

whatever. 

1)It's okay to try new things.  This summer, I tried thai food, met new people, and I tried a different position at work.  It was a very interesting summer.

Of course I am the Bridget Jones without the dashing Mark Darcy being kind to her at a dinner party but I am Bridget Jones anyways.  This Is My Life, Rated.I quit my job at Chappys."

Take you first entries of every month of 2005 and put them together to create a parahraph which makes no sense.

Relient K might be coming to Edmonton in February.  This is a dream come true for me.  Unless they decide to become all mean and change dates. 

I'm praying that they come here though. :)

Hey all!

Merry Christmas! 

I got some good stuff this year.  I don't want to be all like "Christmas is so about the presents for me" because anyone who knows me knows that I'm not like that.  I thought that I would mention what I got though because it's very exciting for me to have recieved these things.

From my mom and dad, I got:

-$50 gift certificate for Reitmans

-$50 gift certificate for Zellers

-$50 gift certificate for HMV (with which I am gonna get a copy of a performance of Into the Woods (on DVD) and the Beach Boys 'Pet Sounds' cd or Serenity)

-a travelers mug from Starbys

-Firefly (the complete series)

-2 free movie passes

From my sister and her fiance, I got:

-4 beautiful ceramic mugs

-a creamer and sugar bowl that match the mugs

-a teapot that matches

-free tea coupons for Cargo & James

From my brother, I got:

-House (Season 1) and that was the only thing that I had actually asked for this year.

I also got a Starby's gift card worth $40.  I can't wait to drink some coffee...

My aunt and uncle gave me $50 but that wasn't the part that made me happiest.  In their card, they wrote "Budhists believe it is the highest calling to help others realize their potential."  This means a lot to me because in the past few days, people have said a lot of crap to me about my future.  I'm so glad that some people believe that teaching is a noble profession.

Right now my mom is in the kitchen making dinner and the rest of my family is visiting with Marcin's (yeah, it's spelled like that but pronounced as Martin) family.  After all, he's becoming family now too...

Oh,  and my sister loved the wedding planning books and the dishes that me and my brother got her. :D

And I just wanted to add this comic that I found in the paper yesterday...

Here is a breakdown of my year:

January:

-I met a bunch of new friends in my drama class and they became a second family for me.

-I had a fight with a friend.

February:

-I went on my very first trip alone.  It was to Phoenix.  It was the best week of my life.

-I saw RK for the first time on Feb 17 at The Venue in Scottsdale, AZ.

-I climbed a small mountain.

March:

-I studied my butt off for school and worked a lot.

April:

-I worked. 

-I wrote finals and got the highest mark in my  drama class.

May:

-I went to YC.

-I worked a lot.

-I got a promotion at work. Yay me!

June:

-I didn't do anything this month.

July:

-Went to the Calgary Warped Tour.  Met RK.

-Went to Banff.

-Suffered from my worst case of the flu ever and had heat stroke at the same time.

-Saw family.

August:

-Went to Banff again.

-Saw family again.

Setember:

-Sept 3 was my last day at HMV.

-I started University.

-I changed my mind about what I want to teach.

-I discovered my vocation.

-I made a really good friend.

-I rekindled an old friendship and had it blossom into a kindred spirit kind of friendship.

October:

-I turned 20

-I wrote midterms and papers

-On Oct. 19, I did a presentation on the Christian music scene.  I got an 80% on it.

November:

-I saw Pride & Prejudice with the best friend that I have ever had in my life.  And she appreciated it as much as I did.

-I wrote an even longer paper than my last one.

-I got a phone call from Jon. :)  And Hallie.  And that made my life.

December:

-I started working at Chapters.  I worked there for 2 weeks.

-I got my old job back at HMV.  I love it so much.

-My sister got engaged and I am now her maid of honour.

-On Dec. 31, I was asked for the very first time if I had pot or if I could give someone the number of a dealer.  I said no.  Because I don't do drugs and I don't hang out with people normally who do. 

So that's my year in a nutshell.

It has been a busy year.  Next year is gonna be busier though.  Seriously.  With the wedding and everything, time is gonna fly.

Happy new year everyone!

wedding planning, a wedding, and another wedding.

June 2, 2006: unofficial wedding date for Clarke and Cecilia (aka the cutest couple ever)

July 8, 2006: official wedding date for my sister and Marcin (pronounced Martin)

And the July 8th wedding is much more important to me because I am going to be the maid of honour and I have a million things to plan.  It's kinda scary when everyone around you is getting married but you aren't even seeing someone.  It means that you are finally an adult and have to face the scary things about being an adult.  Real life awaits us all.

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. Favorite ice-cream novelty:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my mindsay:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Do you have a crush at the moment:
10. Favourite place to be:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Best album of 2005:
14. Where would you take me/where would you like me to take you on a date:
15. First impression of me:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your mindsay so I can tell you what I think of you.

Well, in this case, it's actually Prime Minister.  Today is one of the most important days in Canadian history.  Today is the day that the Conservative Party of Canada hopes to topple a 12 year reign of the Liberal government.  My vote was cast last week on an advance polling day and at that moment, I had never felt so proud to be a Canadian.  I exercized my social responsibility to vote and make a change in my world. 

So many people tell me that they aren't voting because they don't feel that their voice will be heard and that their vote doesn't count.  That is a lie.  During the last election, my riding was decided by a difference of seven hundred votes.  Twelve hundred people said that they were Conservative party supporters yet they didn't turn out to vote.  We would have won if they had followed through.  I spent my afternoon and evening last night going from door to door for the Conservatives confirming that people are supporters of my party and that they will be voting today.  They all said yes except for one person who slammed the door in my face.  Today I get to sit and wait (impatiently, might I add) to see if the party that I have supported through thick and thin gets to make the difference in our fine country.  I am so tired of all the scandals that come up over night about how the Liberals have lost money again.  I still am not sure how they lost $100 million dollars to begin with and then still elect the man who was finance minister at the time as the Prime Minister of the country.  I am ready for an honest leader who will listen to both sides of the country.  I am tired of being ignored because we don't vote the way the easterners do. 

So many other people tell me that they aren't voting because they don't care.  They don't vote because they haven't taken the time to read about and understand the issues.  They take the election for granted and that frustrates me.  So many people around the world put their lives on the line to vote.  They dodge bullets just so that they can get a say in how their country is run.  If you ever want to know what bravery is, take a look at the people who do that.  In Australia, voting is mandatory.  I think that it should be here as well.  You can read a bit more about it here. 

At the end of the day, I am a Conservative and I will be until the day I die.  I won't push my beliefs on anyone though.  The most important thing to do is vote.  I don't care who you vote for (unless you are in my riding (Edmonton City Centre) and then I urge you to think before you vote) just vote.  It's your chance to speak up and be heard.  There needs to be a change and the change can start with you. 

God bless,

Caz

Congratulations to Prime Minister Stephen Harper. 

And Congratulations to Laurie Hawn for winning in Edmonton-City Centre.

We not only won the local battle, we won the war.

It's an amazing speech to read to begin with.  Try watching our newest Prime Minister say it in front of the country. :)

Address by the Hon. Stephen Harper, P.C., M.P.
Leader of the Conservative Party of Canada: 

Tonight, our great country has voted for change, and Canadians have asked our party to take the lead in delivering that change. To Canadians I say this – we will honour your trust, and we will deliver on our commitments. There are no individual victories in politics. Politics is a team sport, and there are a number of people I would like to thank. First and foremost, I would like to thank the people of Calgary Southwest, for having given me the great privilege of serving another term in the House of Commons as your representative. Though I am not often in Calgary or even Alberta, Laureen and I always take you with us. No matter where we go, this remains home. So to my local campaign team, I say thank you for a job so well done.

I would also like to thank our campaign team in Ottawa which I know is celebrating at their own party right now, and to the thousands of Conservative candidates and volunteers across Canada, I thank you for your labours, your donations and your prayers. I congratulate you for working so hard to bring our great party together, and for running solid campaigns in every corner of our country. We came together as a party, and now we will govern for all Canadians.

On a personal note, I would like to thank my family. To my mother, my father, my brothers and so many other relatives, and close friends, thank you for your unwavering support and encouragement over so many years. To Ben and Rachel, your dad’s heart aches when he does not get to spend as much time with you as he would like, and I love you very much. To Laureen, a day never goes by when am not in awe of how you have managed the surprises of this marriage. Your love and support keeps me going.

Earlier this evening, I spoke with the prime minister. He offered both his congratulations and his cooperation as we begin this process of change. Since 1988, Mr. Martin has worked hard for the people of Canada as a Member of Parliament, Minister of Finance, and Prime Minister. I thank Mr. Martin for his service to Canada and to Canadians. To Mr. Layton and Monsieur Duceppe, I congratulate you for running solid campaigns. All of our parties have different philosophies but we are all democrats. But we are all stronger because you, our opponents, have put yourselves on the line and advanced the policies and values you believe in.

I would also like to acknowledge and congratulate each and every Canadian who put his or her name forward for public office in this election. To those who were successful, I look forward to working with you in the House of Commons. To those who were not, I salute your efforts. Having run and lost in elections before, I know how difficult it is to pour your heart into a campaign and come up short. Thank you for putting yourselves forward in the service of your country.

During this campaign, we talked a lot about values. One of the oldest and enduring Canadian values is democracy – the principle that we can change our government without risking our freedoms or our lives. Despite the divisions and discord of an election, the ability to peacefully change and renew our nation’s leadership remains one of our country’s great strengths.

This is a freedom for which our ancestors perished and our veterans fought – for which those in our armed forces today still sacrifice, for which too many in our world still yearn, it is a freedom which we must always – always – cherish as Canadians.

Today, for the 39th time in 139 years, Canadians have elected a new Parliament. And as we have done many times before, Canadians have selected a new government. Let me say here tonight, that through all of these different governments, with all their different priorities, in all their different eras, one constant binds us from Macdonald’s coalition of Tories and Reformers to the modern Conservative Party. Canada – strong, united, independent, and free. Those who did not vote for me, I pledge to lead a government that will work for all of us – we will move forward together.

Our national identity was not forged by government policy. It does not flow from any one program, any one leader or any one party. Our Canada is rooted in our shared history, and in the values which have and will endure. Throughout this campaign, I have been inspired by the thousands of Canadians I met who embody those values. Individuals, families, workers, and business people trying to get ahead. Parents – doing their best to teach their kids right from wrong. Immigrants discovering new opportunities in a new land, seniors seeking security, the young promoting their ideals, East and West, English and French, city and country, men and women, new Canadians and old. This is the Canada we know, in asking us to lead change, the Canadian people have asked us to pursue our priorities.

Throughout this campaign, we were crystal clear about where we will lead. First and foremost, we will clean up Ottawa by proposing and passing the Federal Accountability Act. We will do this because shuffling the deck in Ottawa is not enough. We need to change the system. And we will change the system to strengthen our institutions and make them more accountable to you, the Canadian taxpayers. We will reduce your tax burden, starting by cutting the GST from seven to six percent immediately and to five percent over our mandate. We will reform our justice system to make it stronger and to ensure that we turn back the growing plague of guns, gangs, and drugs in our cities and communities. We will offer parents choice and results in child care. And we will work with our provinces to give Canadians the health care they’ve paid for by developing a patient wait times guarantee.

Perhaps most importantly, we will begin the task of re-building federalism in the province of Quebec. I am especially proud of the fact that both Anglophones and Francophones worked together to bring about real change in Quebec. Our government will build a new and dynamic voice for federalism in Quebec.

To the people of the West, let me say one thing and let me be clear: the West is now in. Canada will work for all of us. To people in Atlantic Canada – the very different provinces of Newfoundland and Labrador, Prince Edward Island, and New Brunswick and Nova Scotia We know that made-in-Ottawa solutions are not the answer. We will work to give you more control over your resources because I know that for my ancestral home the best is yet to come. To the people of the North – including the Yukon, Nunavut and the Northwest Territories – I say we see your potential and we look forward to helping you achieve your dreams.

And finally, Ontario. Thank you for your increased support, and your confidence. A strong Canada requires a strong Ontario and our government will keep our economic heartland moving forward. To those around the world who have followed the campaign, our message is the same – the result tonight signals a change of government, not a change of country. We will stay the course of balanced budgets, low inflation, debt repayment, and economic stability. We will continue to help defend our values and democratic ideals around the globe. As so courageously demonstrated by those young Canadian soldiers who are serving, and who have sacrificed, in Afghanistan.

While always charting a path in the best interests of Canada, we will seek to work cooperatively with our friends and allies, and constructively with all nations of the world. Tonight, although Canadians have voted for change, they have not given any one party a majority in the House of Commons. They have asked us to cooperate, to work together, and to get on with tackling the real issues that matter to ordinary working people and their families. I look forward to working with all of the parties and all members of parliament to build consensus and move Canada forward.

Friends, I have never been so proud of our great country, and I am honoured and overwhelmed to be asked to lead it. We will govern as we campaigned - in a spirit of hope, not fear. We will do all we can. We will give it all we’ve got. From time to time, we will even make mistakes. But each and every day, I can assure you one thing – I will dedicate myself to making Canada a united, stronger, more prosperous and safer country. The time has come, the moment is here, and tomorrow we get down to work – for individuals, for families, and for communities, for all of us.

Thank you. Goodnight, and God bless Canada.

Jacqui and Tom are my friends of mind and spirit and that is why I love them.  Not in a sick way or anything.  They just make my life complete.  They accept me for who I am and what I believe.  I don't have to pretend around them.  Hell, I don't even have to wear my good clothes.  I can be down on my luck with no money in my pocket and all I have to do is wait for them to come up behind me and whisper in a freaky way "listen" in my ear and I know that I am safe.  It's funny how one word protects you from your worst fear.  My biggest fear is being alone and I know that as long as one of them says that to me, I won't be. 

Growing up is scary.  It's also amazingly fun.  When you are younger, you tell yourself that you are never going to do certain things.  What a load of crap that turned out to be.  I told myself that I would never go to Australia.  I'm saving to go.  I told myself that I wouldn't be friends with the pretty people.  Look at my friends.  I told myself that I would never go to the university of Alberta.  Guess who is there right now!  I told myself that I was gonna be an elementary teacher.  And then an actress.  And then a drama teacher.  Now look at me.  I'm gonna be an english/religion teacher.  My point is that life takes us down unexpected paths.  And if I had gone to school elsewhere or was in a different program, I would never have met all of these amazing people.  Especially Tom and Jacqui.

You might have noticed on tv shows (aka Dawson's Creek) how they talk about soulmates...well, these two are mine.  I can't wait to be their friend forever. 

Apparently Jon has been named "The cute new guy" by some teenybopper magazine.  That makes me laugh.  So far his nicknames have gone like this:

1)Frodo (which he hated)

2)The biggest piece of crap person in the world (which was his own fault because he used that as an example of what people are allowed to say if it is their own opinion and then it just stuck with us as a running joke)

3)Schneckinator (which came about from a very boring night on the boards...)

4) The cute new guy (or something like that in Tiger Beat/some equally stupid magazine)

I so need to go out and find that magazine. :)

My brother is astounded by the luck that I have been having lately.  My mom told me today that he had said yesterday that only I could be completely obsessed with Relient K and have all these amazing experiences handed to me.  The evidence goes a little like this:

1)I was able to go to Phoenix to see them.  In the middle of February.  When I left it was a blizzard out.  And not only did I get to see RK, I also got to spend a week in the desert with one of my favourite cousins. 

2)I got to go to the Warper Tour this past summer in Calgary and I met the band.  In all honesty, I almost puked on Dave due to the fact that I was suffering from dehydration, heat stroke, and the flu.  To add on to the misery of that, I didn't have my camera. :(  But still, I got to meet them.

3)On November 21, 2005, my friend Hallie did something awesome for me.  She used her phone to have one of my personal heroes (who just happens to be in the band) to call me.  I don't think that I will ever forget that night.

4)One of my friends deals with collectibles and he has a bunch of handwritten lyrics for me.  For free.  Just because he knows how much I love these guys.  I love my friends. :)

5)I work in an HMV therefore I am surrounded my music all day long.  Outside of my store, we have a stage.  It is being arranged so that on Feb 22, my store will be hosting an autograph session for the band.  And I get to sell their cd next to the stage.  Yay!  I will be working next to my favourite group of guys on the planet and then that night, I get to see their concert.  I only need a shout out in a tour journal entry and everything possible will have happened regarding me and RK.  This is completely ridiculous.'

It amuses me to no end that all of these things just fall into my lap.  Yay for that happening.  It's always nice when things actually work out for you.

It's always ridiculous in movies when the girl/guy thinks that they will never see that certain someone ever again and then just out of no where, they appear.  At least to me it is (even though I love chick flicks).  Well that happened to me today.  I was just sitting on the bus and who climbed on?  It was none other than Mr. Journalism student who disappeared off the face of the planet last year!  Okay, so he didn't really disappear.  He just moved to Thailand for 4 months.  And switched his program to Education. 

But I am over him.  I like -hris. :)  A lot.  A lot more than I ever liked Mr. Journalism student.  Why do I run into guys that have broken my heart?  Perhaps it is a character building thing.  Or maybe God is just laughing at me sometimes.  meh.

I start midterms tomorrow, so I should go to bed.  Night everyone! :) 

He came back. :) 

Yes, J.  I'm still on this. 

26 hours till I get to meet the guys... :D

Best.  Night.  Ever. 

I couldn't remember if I had shown anyone on here my baby before....

Her name is Rosie.  She is one sexy bitch of a bass. :)

I feel like Knox in Dead Poets Society at the moment.  I did it.  I can't believe that I actually did it.  And I got somewhat of the result that I wanted.  It wasn't the best response, but I did it. 

I still feel like I'm gonna puke though.  It's crazy what boys put us through.

This is a picture of Jacqui, aka my best friend:

And this is my other best friend, Tom.  He's all sad because he just broke up with his gf.  We still love him though...

"Broken"

With everything ahead of us
We left everything behind
But nothing that we needed
At least not at this time
And now the feeling that I'm feeling
Well it's feeling like my life is finally mine
With nothing to go back to we just continue to drive
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side
I didn't know what I was looking for
So I didn't know what I'd find
I didn't know what I was missing
I guess you've been just a little too kind
And if I find just what I need
I'll put a little peace in my mind
Maybe you've been looking too
Or maybe you don't even need to try
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side
With everything in the past
Fading faster and faster until it was gone
Found out I was losing so much more than I knew all along
Because everything I've been working for
Was only worth nickels and dimes
But if I had a minute for every hour that I've wasted
I'd be rich in time, I'd be doing fine
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side

Can anyone explain the bleeding eyes emo kid look to me?  I just don't get it.  It just comes across as freakishly creepy. 

Today there was a bunch of scene kids sitting out on the stage in front of my store (they sit there every single freakin' day) and then some came into the store and they were carrying around black balloons looking all sad.  Me and my friends made fun of them. 

And I don't understand the guys wearing girl pants thing.  Maybe I'm just old but I don't get it.

...and I still got tagged.  So my dear friend DyingGasp tagged me for this thing were you post 6 things about yourself and in return I think that you tag 6 others.  Or something.  So here goes...

1) I used to be a Dutch citizen but then my dad officially became a Canadian, so I lost my citizenship. 

2) One day I want to have my own Christian music festival for Canada.  Like a Canadian Cornerstone or something.

3)I tend to have a closer/deeper connection with guy friends moreso than girl friends.  I don't know why but I do. 

4)It's quite rare for me to own every album put out by an artist.  I finished my Jack Johnson collection of albums today though.  I bought his first cd last.  I apparently do things backwards.

5)I love to travel.  By the time I turned 6, I had traveled all over Western Europe in the smallest car known to a family of 5.  I don't remember a lot from that trip, but one thing that still lingers in my mind is the part of the trip when we went to Brussels and we walked through a cemetary that was filled with soldiers graves from the world wars. 

6)If I had the choice between seeing a really artsy film or a gross out guy comedy (ie: American Pie movies, Eurotrip, etc) I'd pick the stupid comedy.  I don't know why, but I love them.  They just crack me up like there's no tomorrow.

So, now it's my turn to tag people....

muchafraid 

lhimalcom 

picturesque 

BigRed7059 

ingenue 

askjesse 

There are about 50 bands represented in this picture.  Try and find them.  Post one or two that you have found.  I'll start-

Beach Boys & the Blues Brothers.

For the picture all alone, click here: http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y42/RelientK_BeMyEscape/bandpicture.jpg 

Jazz stirs the soul.

It really does.  I spent the entire day listening to Jamie Cullum's cd Twentysomething and man, that guy just gets to you.  There is just something about his voice that is so comforting.  It's so homey.  I don't know if I'm making sense with this but it's almost as if his voice is the smoothest sound mixed in with the raspiest.  My friends would say that he has a "hot chocolate voice".  But the voice isn't the whole package to feeling his music.  There is just something about the jazz that makes you feel alive.  It makes you feel like jumping, shouting, dancing, and singing.  Even if you are at a bus stop.  Jamie has this theory about channeling his energy.  He said in this interview once that most people channel their energy into their fingers but he likes to channel his energy into his whole body.  That's why he jumps around on stage and pounds on his piano with any body part that he wishes to use.  He jumps off his piano even.  He's a true performer.  His music moves one to their very core,

When I was listening to the title track of his cd Twentysomething, I found that I really identified with the song.  It was the first time that I had actually listened to what he was saying and it just fits my life.  Here are the lyrics:

After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare

 and that’s a hell of a lot

but the world don't need scholars

as much as I thought.

Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,
finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.

Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.

I don't want to get up, just let me lie in,
leave me alone, I'm a twenty something.

Maybe I'll just fall in love that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more. Ooooh

Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.

doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah

I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.

doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah
doh dah duh dah, do duh dah dah dah

It's crazy what connects to someone even when they've heard the song a million times.

The line about being an expert on Shakespeare reminded me of my friends that are just getting general degrees at the moment.  I know a lot of people who want to be professional students for the rest of their lives.  Where's the fun in that?  It sounds so boring.  I'm already annoyed by school and I've got 2 years left here.  Oh well.  I will hopefully be moving to Italy at some point to do some schooling there.  

I've been frustrated lately.  Life just seems to be going no where.  It seems like everyone else has these amazing things happening to them or they are at least doing something.  I go to school and I work and that's it.  I love my job and all but life gets a little frustrating at times.  I'm trapped in my own little world of safety and I've done it to myself.  I tried to escape earlier this turn and I think that we all know how well that turned out.  Knox Overstreet I am not.  But at least I was somewhat brave. 

At least I still have my jazz.  I don't care if it makes me look like a freak when I dance to it at the bus stop or in public in general.  It's impossible to keep still.  Jamie Cullum is a smart guy.  Learn from him.  Channel your energy into your whole body and not just one part like your brain or fingers.  You were given something glorious like a body and personality.  Express both.  And never forget...

Jazz stirs one to the very depths of their soul.   

^{Someone posted this quote on the rk message boards today and I wanted to share it with you all.  Enjoy. :)}

<sup>“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

-C.S. Lewis</sup>

I've decided that school is crap. So I'm gonna run away from it. Only I'm not. Yay for school almost being over. And yay for these guys...

Words really can't describe how amazing last night was.  They really can't.  I'll walk you through the day and night to the best of my ability but other than that you will have to use your imagination...

My day began with my last final of the term.  It went well but I almost fell asleep in the room that I was writing.  It was really warm in there and then all of a sudden, the a/c turned on and I was frozen.  It was fun. 

I ate lunch, hung out with friends, and then got my ticket from a co-worker for the concert.  YAY!  I was already excited.  I came home and just chilled.  I played on the computer a bit.  Then I got ready.  I ususally dress in a tshirt and a zipper hoodie but I didn't last night.  I did the whole capri/layered tanks/chucks look (I'm aware that I looked like a teenie.  Get over it. :P)  I ate a sandwich so I wouldn't pass out there and I left.  I got there pretty early so that I could get in line.  The doors opened at 6pm and I was there for 530.  Not a lot of people had shown up at that point but I was happy.  Then my friend Reagan came in with his friend.  It was awesome to see him b/c I hadn't seen him in about 3 weeks.  So we chilled and made fun of the kid behind me that asked what bands were playing.  It's like, "dude you just paid $50 for a ticket and you don't know who is playing?  That's sad."  We told him but he was a little jerk.  He tried to get in front of us in line.  Little bugger. 

*WARNING:  I discovered last night that I am not a fan of all age shows.  This is a warning to let you know that I'm gonna mock some kids now and probably come off as a really mean bitch but I'm not.  These kids got what was coming to them.  Like it or not.  My friends and I were fair but they pushed us beyond our limits.*

The Cribs:

(British rock band with a punk feeling to them)

So the first band that played was The Cribs.  They were pretty cool.  It was funny that they asked us at the door if we had drugs, alcohol, or weapons on us and then got patted down.  Why is this funny and what is the relation to The Cribs?  Well, the guitarist was drinking beer and smoking up on stage.  That's why.  He was awesome though.  They played for about 30-40 minutes.  There was a 20 minute break while they set up for Death Cab for Cutie. 

Death Cab for Cutie:

(Seattle based rock band that writes meaningful songs, both slow and fast.)

Death Cab was one of those bands that remind me of Coldplay.  Not sound wise at all or anything like that.  It's just that their albums never have really jumped out at me and the songs just kinda all blend together.  When you see them live though, they are amazing.  They are beyond unbelievable.  For their second last song (called We Looked Like Giants), they blew everyone away.  Their lead singer Ben Gibbard plays every instrument possible during the song.  And he played his guitar with three things: (1)his pick/finger (I'm not sure what he uses), (2)a drumstick (as he plays the drums on alternate beats), and (3)the SIDE OF HIS FREAKING AMP!!!  This guy was fantastic!  I might have to take another look at their music now... 

During the Death Cab set, I got really annoyed with the kids in front of me.  They were the most obnoxious 14 year olds ever.  They pushed their way in front of us to begin with.  Then more of their friends showed up and tried to get in front of us too.  That pissed me off because we were in a good spot until they came along.  I did manage to clock one of them in the head by accident though.  I was clapping and the short one's head got in the way.  He deserved it.  Their whole group annoyed me.  They tried to mosh.  That's impossible.  No one can mosh to Death Cab.  They were freakin' morons.  Death Cab played for a good hour and fifteen minutes.  Then came my favourite part of the night...

Franz Ferdinand:

(Scot rockers that just want to make girls dance)

So on my list of favourite bands, the number one spot is Relient K but the number two spot is Franz Ferdinand.  I love these guys.  They are amazing.  The played mostly off their first album which made me happy because their first album was better than the second.  They were energetic and fun.  They are freakishly talented people too.  They played all of my favourite songs and they sound even better live than they do on the album which is hard to do because most bands haven't mastered that yet. 

The most amazing part of the night was when they came back out to do their encore.  They did two songs.  One was Jacqueline.  The other was This Fire.  For Jacqueline, they start it out with Alex all alone on stage and the others come out when he finishes the first verse.  For This Fire, they had a whole bunch of extra drums set up onstage.  I would normally think that that would appear awkward but after just witnessing Mr. Ben Gibbard of Death Cab play on a second drumset and then run back to his guitar without being out of breath or appearing tired in anyway, I was prepared for something cool.  What I got was beyond cool and onto a whole new level of music.  They played the song as per usual until their backup everything player (he kinda moves around so that whatever needs to be played gets played) stopped playing the keyboard and ran over to the drums that their usual drummer, Paul, was still playing.  While standing with his back facing the audience, the guy started playing the same drumset from the front while Paul kept going.  Then all of a sudden, DEATH CAB COMES OUT ONSTAGE!!!  They began playing the other drums that were set up.  All the while, Nicholas and Alex are playing their guitars in unison and Robert was rocking out on the bass.  It was pretty much the best damn thing I have ever seen in my life. 

Oh, and you know what was awesome but kinda sucked at the same time?  Being so close to this man:

and not being able to touch him. I mean, if my arm was about a foot longer, I could have... :(  He's gorgeous but married so I guess it's hands off anyways...

So that was my amazing night.  My legs are tired and achy from dancing.  My throat is a little raw from screaming still.  My ears have just started to get back to normal.  And you know what?  It was worth every second of pain that I had this morning.  Because I got to see something amazing.  And that little bit of amazing will never happen the same way again.  I didn't bring a camera but that's okay because I really don't need pictures to remember the night.  I can still feel the music.  It's something that you just feel in the heart of you.  When I hear a bass line, it cuts right into me and doesn't leave until the night is long over.  I hope other people get from concerts what I get.  Otherwise, I sound like a nutcase...

I bought the Family Force 5 cd today.  I am so glad that I ordered it in.  I was telling my boss about it.  He just looked at me and was like "only you would order in a cd like that."  He said in it a good way though.  They pretty much freakin' rock.  Check them out here:

http://www.myspace.com/familyforce5

I know that I have a new love every week but this one is one that I just can't pass up.  He's so pretty and he sounds pretty.

This amazingly talented man who also happens to be hot is Matt Costa.  Everyone should go and check out his music. 

http://www.myspace.com/mattcostamusic

http://www.mattcosta.com

http://www.purevolume.com/mattcosta

So I just finished reading a book called Enchanted, Inc. by Shanna Swendson and the sequel entitle Once Upon Stilettos.  In all honesty, I've never fallen in love with a book this fast.  I spent all of Sunday night reading the first one and all of last night (yes, I was up until 4am reading and I have class today) reading the sequel.  These books are so addictive. 

The main character has a crush on this one co-worker of hers named Owen Palmer.  From the descriptions alone, I've fallen in love with him too.  He is just about the nicest guy in the world.  Unless you are some evil wizard.  And then he will totally kick your ass.  What's this you say about wizards? you might be asking at this point.  Well the premise of the story is that Katie Chandler has no magic in her whatsoever so she is immune to magic.  She can spot what is real and what is fake in the magic world.  So this company names Magic, Spells, & Illusions, Inc. hire her to be a verifier.  Owen is a brilliant wizard and he runs a department regarding the development and research of spells.  There is this one guy that used to work for the company and he is using magic for evil purposes.  MSI uses magic only for good so they are obviously trying to stop Phelan Idris (bad dude) from using his powers. 

So what makes Owen so wonderful?  Well it could be the fact that he is described as being gorgeous by every woman at the office but there is something more.  He's just so abnormal that he's normal.  And he's a true gentleman.  And he blushes every time he has to talk to a female.  He's pretty much the cutest guy ever.  Now if only he existed......

Exciting news all around...

1)Matt Costa is COMING TO EDMONTON!!! He's playing at the Powerplant on September 7, 2006.  I can't wait.

2)The Oilers won tonight.  How the hell did that happen?  We haven't gotten this far in the playoffs since 1992.  Yay team Oilers!  We are Canada's last chance for the Stanley.

3)My hippies won the Amazing Race.

and now for the sad news...

Elliot got kicked off American Idol. :(

I can't believe that we won tonight.  I can't believe that we have gotten this far already.  The Oilers are doing so well.  It would be sweet if we won the cup too.  Bring it back to Canada.  Yay Oilers!

We beat the Ducks in the first game.  3-1.  Yay us!

3-1

We did it again

I love these guys.

I love Roli the Goalie.

We are so close to the cup.

I just need to knock on some wood now.

5-4

You boys made me proud again.

Pisani, Peca, and Roli all deserve medals for the way they play.

Congrats guys.

3 down

1 to go

Does anyone else consider themselves to be weird?  I mean, I know that everyone has their quirks and all but I mean truly odd or different.  Sometimes I think that I am.  It's not that I see anything wrong with being like that.  It's just that sometimes I get frustrated with being looked at differently.  I don't really care about what others think of me but sometimes I wonder if I would be friends with me.  I am on occasion not the nicest person in the world but for the most part I try to be a good person.  Sometimes it's the way I dress.  Sometimes it's what I say or read or study or even listen to.  Sometimes it's even the amount of time I spend on the internet.  I guess that sometimes I appear odd from all angles of my personality.

Let me just address these issues one at a time, starting with how I dress.  I wear what I want to wear.  Usually that means jeans, a tshirt, and a hoodie.  That sounds normal right?  Well, to go along with my normal outfit, I collect socks.  I'm not just talking about any old pair of socks either.  I have pretty much every colour that will clash with my wardrobe.  I have them in all styles too (including toe socks).  To make things a little more different, I collect chucks.  I own several pairs at this moment in time and the number is sure to grow.  The first pair I ever bought was a pair of pink chucks.  Then I bought the green ones.  Then the brown.  Then the strayberry/plaid ones.  The only thing that anyone in my family says to me about my shoes is "Well, they sure are...bright..."  I guess that the way I dress just makes me different from everyone else in my family.

Sometimes I will say something that I shouldn't say or something that is completely random.  Everyone else in my family knows how to bite their tongue but I always appear to push the envelope too far.  It's not that I can help it or anything.  It just happens and then the whole freakin world thinks that I'm an idiot.  I always say the wrong thing.  Yay for me, huh?  Also, I have a constant inner monologue going.  If you have ever seen "Scrubs" then you will know what I mean.  If you haven't seen "Scrubs" then watch it and you will know what I mean.  (And no jdog.  I'm not turning into Woolf.  I just have a lot on my mind.  Not suicide though.  Just random crap that would probably get me into trouble if I said it out loud.)

I read different books than the rest of my family.  My mother and sister both read romance novels.  I read those occasionally if they are written by Julia Quinn.  My father reads detective novels.  My brother reads science fiction.  The only sci-fi books I've read are the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy ones.  I read Jane Austen.  i love reading books about people trading lives and identities and becoming apes that have lots of sex and do lots of drugs.  I read books on religion for fun.  I still read the normal stuff like Harry Potter but I need more for my literary appetite than the best seller of the week.

I'm studying to be an english and religion teacher.  At first everyone says "well, with the English part you can teach."  Well guess what!  There is a second and third part to my post-secondary education- starting with the Religion teacher part.  For the longest time I was conflicted about whether or not I wanted to teach certain subjects.  I never realized that one could actually take religion seriously as a career.  The moment I found out, I knew that I needed to do it.  The third part is the fact that I want to be a chaplain too.  Everyone dismisses that for some reason.  That or they freak out on me. 

"I thought that you wanted to get married one day and have a family!"
"Your church doesn't allow women to have an important position like that!"

"Religion is a waste of time!"

"Get a real job!"

These are all things that people have said to me.  I just want to comment back on them because my mom saved these people from the verbal wrath of Caroline.  I AM going to get married and have a family one day.  Chaplains get married and have families all the time.  My church has a very important role for women.  We are the nurturers of the church.  The Church is Christ's bride.  That is why priests are considered married to the church.  Religion is not a waste of time.  Without God, where would we be?  No where.  He is our reason for everything.  And it is a real job.  It's a very important job.  Teachers in general get the short end of the stick.  We are thought of as insignificant and unimportant.  The funny thing is that at the moment that something goes wrong, the teacher is the first person blamed for the student's marks or behaviour.  Every time a student succeeds, the credit goes solely to the student.  And chaplains are important as well.  They are the spiritual guides for the students.  Teachers nurture the mind while chaplains nurture the soul.  And just to clear up a misconception, I'm not a "holier-than-thou" kind of person.  Never have been, never will be.

As for the internet comment- well it's like a second home to me.  As a kid I was bullied and so I had no friends until grade 7.  My best friend set me up with my very first email account and so I've kept it ever since.  It sounds stupid and it is quite possibly the dumbest email address but I wouldn't change it for two main reasons.  1)I'm too lazy.  There are a lot of emails that I have saved over the years and a lot of people on my friends list 2)It still has some meaning for me.  I mean, someone cared enough about me to set this up so that we could spend hours talking without waking up our households.  As for my blogs, I just plain and simply like them . They are fun and I like sharing my thoughts with the world.  Everyone has a voice and everyone deserves to be heard.  I've learned that message boards are a great place to meet new people and make friends that live in other parts of the world (ex: Justy in Oz, Franckie in NZ, Dania in Toronto, and so many people-especially Hallie- in the states.  I'm the only one in my family who likes the internet this much and I'm pretty much the family pariah for that.

I just remembered something else that makes me different.  Every one else in my family is all about settling down right now and putting down roots here.  I want to move around and travel the world.  I want to live in Italy and study Catholicism.  I want to live in Scotland.  I want to live in England (which will probably never happen but that's okay beacuse Scotland is right there).  And everyone in my family is about the wholesome clean cut look.  Is it so wrong for me to like the guys who aren't as much like that?  It's like banging my head on a desk trying to fight off their "subtle" hints that I should get out and meet some guy at the bar one night.  Yeah...cause that sounds safe...

Anyways, I lied to you all earlier.  I said that I don't really care about what others think of me.  And as much as I try to deny it, I'll always be the pariah in my family and it does frustrate me.  It's like I can't do anything right.  My mom says that I'm the "different one" and that my brother and sister will be very happy here in Edmonton settling down and being homebodies.  She and my dad know that different things lie in store for me but sometimes I get the feeling that they would rather me be like my siblings so that they don't have to worry.

PS-I've only met one person that actually meant it when they said that they didn't care what anyone else thinks about them.  Unless you have proof that you are Omar the pirate whose motto is "Well, if you have to wear something, then you might as well enjoy it" then you are not only lying to us, you are lying to yourself.

3-1.

We did it.

8th Seed and we won.

I love you Roli the Goalie.

You are the driving force of our team.

You deserve the cup.

And so you shall recieve it.

Booyah!

Let's bring that baby back home where it belongs. In Canada. :)

Don't you just hate running into people from high school that look like they just stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine or off a runway while you look like absolute crap?

That happened to me today.  I ran into a girl from high school today at the mall.  My mom and I were out buying some birthday gifts for my sister and all of a sudden the girl came out of a store.  My mom told her that she looked like a model.  She's really tall and thin and she has a Liza Minnelli Cabaret style hair cut dyed black.  She does look striking. 

So she's standing there looking fabulous and here I stand in chucks, jeans, a band shirt, and my rk sweater.  My hair is pulled back in a bad ponytail and I feel like crap because I'm sick.  I felt like such a loser.

2-1

Game 3

Home freakin ice

Do you see that little black puck?

It's the winning goal going into Carolina's net.

Ryan Smyth, I love you more than words can say right now.

Forget Smith.  Smyth should be the captain.

Game 4 will be oh so sweet for us.

Home ice never lets us down.

Boom Baby.  We're gonna win!

Natalie (1991-2006)

Even though we never actually met, you have been a huge inspiration in my life. 

 I can't wait to meet you in the Kingdom one day.  You will be a glorious angel. 

For anyone who wants to know more about Natalie and what an amazing young woman she was, check out dyinggasp's blog. 

4-0.

Such sweetness.

People said that we couldn't do it.

Well, we did.

One more game to go and then you boys can bring the cup back home.

Bring it back where it belongs.

Oil Country.

PS: Pisani, you deserve a freakin parade when you guys get back. 

This week sucks. 

On Saturday, my best friend stood me up for dinner.

On Sunday, he told me that he is leaving on Tuesday (so he's leaving today) for Amsterdam for a month and a half.  Therefore, I don't ahve a date for the wedding.

Last night my Oilers lost the cup. :(

Today I heard from the university.  I am sitting at a 2.5 and I need a 2.7 in order to change my program.  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am not impressed.  At all.  I want to curl up and cry. 

This has been blognapped from sundrop 

I love it when I pick the right days to look hot.  Today was a day that (although I didn't know it at the time) I needed to look hot. 

He gave me the most intellectually stimulating conversation I've had in years.  He called me on everything that I had studied in the past year.  It wasn't fighting or bickering.  It was a debate.  A conversation of sorts.  And when the other guy got all flustered and mad, he gave me the nicest smile I've ever seen.  He lit the place up.  All I could think was that I could spend forever getting to know him.

My mom is great with the resourceful information.  She hung out with his parents all night.  Apparently he is single, in his 4th year, in engineering, and he's the same age as me. 

He looks older than me.  And he's tall.  He has glasses.  And a beautiful smile.  I think that smile will stay with me for quite a long time.

Happy birthday.  You may be old but you still have the strong spirit residing in you. 

Relatives kinda suck sometimes. 

Last time I saw her, my hair was too short.  Now it's too long.  She told me so this morning over breakfast. 

Last time I saw him, he told me that I talk too much.  I barely talk to him now and he still finds ways to be a jerk.

My mom told me today to be myself and let them see the me that the rest of my family loves.  I was cutting up a zillion pieces of fudge for the wedding favours and while doing so, I was singing a little song to myself and dancing on the spot.  That's what I do when I'm bored.  What does he do?  He mocks me. 

Only a week and a half more of them. 

I bought the new Matt Dusk cd today.  It's heavenly. :)  He's a hottie.

Speaking of hot people/things, everyone in my department at work worked up a sweat by standing still today.  Our a/c wasn't working and we were boiling hot.  Ugh.  It sucked.  At least I'm not there anymore. :)

I can't say that it is nice when a parent wakes you up early in the morning even if you were expecting it.  Today is my last outing alone with my sister before she gets married.  It's kinda important to us so we are going before I have to work.  That's not a part of the story.  That's just why I was getting up early.  It's called exposition.  Anyways, at about 9:15am, my mom came into my room to wake me up.  In the process of waking me up, she mentioned that she had talked to my Aunt this morning and that Aunt Susan warned us that Grandpa would have a bandage on his ear when we see him tomorrow.  The reason? Cancer.  A few weeks ago, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.  So I woke up pretty fast.  Apparently it's treatable and he will have the growth removed when he gets back to Toronto in a couple of weeks, but it still is weird.  So now my grandpa has the early stages of skin cancer.

Good morning to you all.

This is Jen and Marcin at the recpetion

This is Jen and the kiddies at the wedding.

This is Jen and our grandpa dancing at the recpetion.

Conclusion #1:

All cake delivery guys should be as hot as the one I just had stop by my house.  We are having another party at my house today.  This one is for my parent's 25th anniversary.  Yay for them.  The cake guy was absolutely gorgeous.  We should have parties every weekend if they involve him stopping by. :)

Conclusion #2:

I hate hot weather.  This isn't a new conclusion.  I just really like saying how much I despise it.

Have a good day all. :)

It was so hot here yesterday.  It got up to about 35*.  The only really cool place to go to was the movie theatre so my mom, my dad, and me all went to see The Da Vinci Code.  Well, the only really good things about the theatre last night were (1) the fact that the theatre was really cold (yay!) and (2) I bought Clerks for $10.  I thought that The Da Vinci Code kinda sucked.  I wasn't entertained and I was so bored at the end.  Hopefully the book will be better.  They should have ended the movie when they were at Roslin church. 

Today is supposed to be just as hot but I have to go to an backyard birthday party today for our 85 year old neighbour.  I would rather go to the mall or something.  I don't have A/C in my house so it gets really really hot in here. 

Have a good Sunday everyone.

A lot of people who know me now don't know what my life was like back in elementary and jr high.  I don't really like to talk about that part of my life because I don't want to relive it.  I just watched a movie tonight and it made me realize that I really should speak out more on a certain topic.  Bullying.  I was not the bully, I was the unfortunate victim.  Here's the rundown of my hell...

My first memory of school is from kindergarten.  I was shoved into a corner and had stones thrown at me.  It was downhill from there.  I brought my newest toy to school in grade 1 for show and tell.  It was a Polly Pocket that had little rabbits in it.  The rabbits were made of a velvety material.  Some asshole came by and pushed it out of my hands into a mud puddle.  In grade 2, I had to have a chat with my teacher every single day after class about how I was treated that day.  We would write down on little cue cards what had happened to me that day and what I did to assert myself.  She kept it and I never saw it again.  They put me in a class away from my friends in grade 3 because they wanted to keep me out of the regular class with all the bullies.  I was put into a split class instead.  It felt like they were punishing me instead of the rest of the people.  In grade 4, I was once again put into a split class.  It was there that I discovered my talent for writing stories.  I wrote better stories than the rest of the class for our writing exercises.  The rest of the class claimed that I cheated and had my parents help me because there was no possible way for me to have written those stories.  In grade 5, I was tormented by both the students and my teacher.  She was an evil bitch that locked kids in the closet when they misbehaved.  She knew not to put me in there because my mom would most likely beat the shit out of her.  This teacher once put a kid in the closet when my sister was in her class and she came home and told my mom what happened.  My mom had a little chat with her the next day and basically said "If I hear of you putting anymore students in your closet, I'm gonna lock you in there and see how much you like it!"  This teacher told me that I plagerized because my work was too good.  She gave me a month to do a report and I did all the work.  Just because she thought that I wasn't able to do well, that doesn't mean that she was right.  The students pushed me over and into coat hooks.  They pushed me into walls and corners.  They bumped me so that I would hit my finger on broken glass.  I lost my best friend because she started spreading rumours about me.  I did get one punch in though.  David was the worst bully of them all.  He cornered me with his friends and he had his arms out so that I couldn't escape.  So I punched him in the jaw.  The funny thing is that I never got in trouble.  Even when he complained to a teacher.  My family moved to the other side of the city when I was going from grade 5 to grade 6.  I thought that it would be a fresh start.  It sure wasn't.  I was called "No Neck" because I wore turtlenecks during the winter and I have a short neck.  I had notes put on my back all the time that usually said things like "I'm a fag", "Kick me", "I suck", "I fucked Ian", "I fucked Alex", "Loser", "I'm a loser", and more.  I tried to be nice and they became more cruel.  The pushed me.  They threw balls at me.  The tormented me.  I remember one day walking home from school and one of the guys lived on my street.  He and his friends were like the gang leaders in the class.  I'll never forget the day that they chased me home on their bikes and then circled the street chanting that they knew I was in there.  My teacher did nothing at all.  The principal ignored me.  I finished there and went on to jr high thinking that things would be different.

Life can be a bitch sometimes.  I started jr high thinking that because I was in a whole new school and everyone else was new as well, I would be okay.  In grade 7, I made my first real friends.  I had 3 friends.  Christina, Magda, and Jesse.  They were my only friends for 3 years.  In grade 7 I was teased and tormented once more.  It got so bad that I actually had a nervous breakdown.  I'll never forget the whole family just sitting in the hallway and letting me vent my frustrations.  No one said anything as I cried and screamed and told them everything that I had ever been through in my first 7 and a half years of school.  The next day my parents came into the school and had a meeting with my teachers and principals.  They said that action would be taken but nothing happened.  Well, that's a lie.  It got worse.  In grade 8, things escalated.  I was put into a class that the school had put all the troublemakers into.  The girl that made my life hell sat next to me.  She had spent her summer in juvi because she took a crowbar to an 18 year old (I would just like to take this moment to say that she is now a single mother who is addicted to crack).  On the other side was the psycho who got kicked out of school because they found a hit list in his locker.  I was on that list because he stole my calculator once and I yelled at him and took it back.  Also because I was on the peer support team.  My brother was on there as well because of Peer support.  The creepy thing is that it was supposed to happen the same day that Columbine happened (I would just like to take the time to mention that he is now in jail because he shot and killed someone).  I hated school so much at this point.  I remember this one time during AIDS awareness week, some of the kids in my class kept throwing pamphlets about AIDS at me and calling me a faggot.  I also remember them telling one guy that if he got to close to me, he would get AIDS and die.  If this seems like hell compared to your grade 8 year, then wait till you hear about my grade 9 year.  I watched a friend get thrown into the lost and found.  They knew that they weren't to touch me or I'd get the law into the school.  They did other things though.  They threw things at me (like coke cards, paper, books, etc).  They called me names.  They took out a book under my name at the library and made sure that it was overdue so that it would be posted on the bulletin board.  The book they took out was "Is is Love or Sex?"  My dad was so pissed off that the next day he came to school with me, ripped the bulletin off the wall, and took me down to the office.  It was that day that the principal told me that he wouldn't transfer me to another homeroom because (1) everyone would know why I was transferred (okay I think that they already knew that I didn't want to be in that class for the very reason that I was getting verbally beaten every single freaking day) and (2) that I am like a chick in an egg waiting to be hatched.  If you help the chick get out of the shell, then it will die because it won't be strong enough to survive in the real world (yeah, I thought that he was full of shit too).  I had to go see the counciller on a regular basis and one day he asked me to point out who were the main bullies.  He told me that he wouldn't tell them I had pointed them out.  He told them anyways.  Guess who got thrown into lockers that very day.  They didn't want me to get the drama award so they gave it to the most popular student (even though everyone knew that I deserved it).  The only time I got respect from any of my fellow students was at the end of the year.  Because I was in advanced drama, I had to perform for the Celebration of the Arts.  I played the Wicked Queen in a play.  When I finished the play and was walking back to class, a bunch of kids came up to me and said "Good job."  They never said anything to me again.  In grade 9 I was almost pulled out of school and put into home schooling.  I was 3 months away from finishing and 3 hours away from a home program.  My parents told me that it was up to me.  So I did what any insane kid would do.  I stayed.  I didn't want them to win.  I couldn't let them win.  It just wasn't in me.  They had beaten me but they couldn't break me.  And so I graduated from jr high as a St. Cecilia Tiger. 

And that was the end of it.  I haven't been bullied since.  Well there was this one time but everyone in the school actually told the person to stop being an ass and had what was said about me removed from the internet.  In grade 11 I was involved with the making of a movie called "Pariahs".  It's about bullying and what it's really like in schools today.  Things have evolved from kids just calling each other names.  There are weapons involved.  I was threatened in grade 2 with a knife.  I know what I am talking about here.  I hope that I can be there for people in the future to help them through what I went through.

The movie that I watched tonight was called "Bang Bang You're Dead".  It was absolutely brilliant.  It was so real that it was heart breaking because I knew that I was once in that boat.  I never went as far as the people in the film do but I was once a victim.  Everyone needs to see this movie because everyone will learn from it.  There are no easy outs from what we do or how we treat people.  People just need to understand that.

If you are being bullied, tell someone.  Don't wait and hope that it goes away.  Just tell someone.  Tell anyone and everyone who will listen.  Make sure that something is done to stop it.  But don't go the violent route.  You end up nowhere doing that. 

So at abotu 5:30 this evening my family got a phone call.  My cousin committed suicide. 

How fucking selfish of her.  She was supposed to be helping her father deal with the death of her mother from 2 years ago.  She was supposed to be there for him while he was dealing with his Alzheimers.  She isn't there now.

I got a raise this week.  I found out yesterday.  I originally thought that it was a 5 cent raise (which was a big deal for me).  Then I found out that I actually got a 95 cent raise.  TTOW! 

To celebrate, I bought myself the movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang".  It's by far one of my favourite films.  Everyone must go see it. 

I also got to see my favourite customer today.  He's from England and he loves really good films.  We like to talk every Saturday about what good films there are and what I would recommend for him.  He buys a lot from us too. 

In other news, my assistant manager (who sometimes refers to himself as the "ass. man" [get it?  assistant.  manager.]) announced today that he and his gf broke up.  She's an idiot for letting him go.  Girls that let guys like him go are morons.  What can you do though?

I hope everyone else had a good day.  I know that I sure did.

Someone showed me this video of Mr. Rogers and I was so moved by what he said.  This is someone that really cares about children.  Watch the entire video and fall in love with Mr. Rogers all over again.  He makes everyone feel good about themselves and I wish that he was still around.

happiness.

18 days till.....

MATT FREAKIN' COSTA!!!!!!!!!!

One month exactly till...

THE FREAKIN' BEACH BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I've never been one to fall in love with guys who have tattoos but you have to admit...

this is pretty damn hot.

Prison Break season 2 started tonight.  Let's just say that I almost had another heart attack (okay so several heart attacks) and I managed to love Wentworth even more when he appeared in this outfit....

*sigh*

I recommend these guys:

go check them out.

CLICK HERE FOR FANTASTIC UPBEAT FUN MUSIC!!!!!!!one!!!!!111!!!!!!!!11111oneONE!exclamationmark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Steve Irwin

1962-2006

He will be remembered fondly and loved forever.

The world lost an amazing person today. 

I'm sick and that really sucks.  My head is all fuzzy.  And my eye hurts.  I need to see a doctor.  I might just stop by my profs offices tomorrow and pick up the course outlines from them and then go home.  My ears are ringing.  This really sucks.  I might miss the Matt Costa concert. :(

My head is fuzzy and my tummy hurts.  I wish my mom was home and not on her trip.  She makes me feel better.

I'm still searching for someone to go to the concert with me.  My fingers are crossed that someone can magically come with me tonight.  Going alone sucks.

I don't have pictures because I didn't have a camera with me last night but....

That concert was pretty much nothing short of amazing.  He sang all of my favourite songs.  He did everything perfectly, and he even drank to us.  It was pretty much worth the wait. 

I however am really sick so I'm going to keep this short.  I have the flu and a slight temperature.  :(

Look at me!  I can see!

Pondering is fun!  Woo!

CLICK ME 

he must enjoy dancing, and not just in the sense that he recognizes that "any savage can dance"

He is the epitome of what a realistic Mr Darcy would be.  Apparently I am not his Lizzy.

I suppose that he is merely another detour on the road to true love. 

                      Don't get me wrong though.  He is still perfect.  It's just that....

he thinks that she is perfect.

I cannot bring myself to call him by the name of Wickham.  He has done nothing to deserve such a horrid title.  Only the most vile of the male population are worthy of such a demeaning reference. 

   Perhaps I will call him my Mr. Bingley. 

He thinks that his Jane is perfect.

So if I am Lizzy, he is Bingley, and she is Jane, then who is Darcy?  Perhaps I just haven't met him yet.  I really should take the advice of my friends and just forget about things for awhile.  Stop trying. 

And so I will go out with my siblings and party on Friday and Saturday with them.  I will work hard in my classes and forget about men. 

I'm tired of them anyways.  They are so frustrating and time consuming. 

My heart keeps breaking on me.  It's a continual barrage of aches and pains.  Tears and frustrations.  Loneliness. 

So why do I keep doing it?     

Why keep giving my heart?

Because of the great CS Lewis.

Because he was right.             

To love is to be vulnerable.

And what are we called to do on this earth?

Love

1. Go into your journal's archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

My Sentence...

There is so much of this happening in our lives that we don’t even notice the daily things that influence our thoughts.

I'm another year older.  I have been for the past 3 days.  It doesn't feel a whole lot different though.  I'm really tired but that's because school has been kicking my ass with the whole note taking, papers, readings, and such.  The funny thing is that I love every second of it still.

On Friday, I went to see The Who.  Sweet God in heaven it was amazing.  They still have "it."  I've never understood what "it" is, but The Who most definitely still have this mythical thing called "it."  It was by far the most entertaining concert I've ever been to and I used to believe that nothing could match up to Death Cab and Franz.  On Saturday, I turned 21.  I worked, went for dinner with family, and then went to The Sidetrack Cafe (quite possibly the best bar in the world).  We caught this awesome funk band called The Superband.  I drank a bit.  I danced.  I took pictures with my brand new digital camera that I got for my birthday.  It was a lot of fun.  I'll post pictures later on when I'm at home.  On Sunday, we celebrated Thanksgiving.  That was fun.  We managed to fit 25 people at a giant table in the living room.  Thanksgiving is one of my favourite holidays.  I have no clue why.

This being all said, I must run because I am off for dinner with my best friend. 

The death of the underground has come...

You will be missed.

A few weeks ago I spent some time with my best friend.  Things have changed a lot since we last met up.  He lives in a different city now (it's more of a town) and he hangs out with people that he wouldn't have before.  It's not that I have anything against these people but it's weird how living a certain way changes someone. 

He didn't say anything when I told him that he had changed but tonight we were talking and he asked me what I had meant.  I don't know how to explain it but the closeness is gone.  We shared everything in the past and now I don't know what to even say to him.  Half the time I feel like I'm censoring myself  because I don't want to hurt him and half the time I think that he's censoring himself because he doesn't want to hurt me.  It's really confusing.  We used to do everything together.  Hell, if you wanted to put a name to what we did in the past, you could call it date.  He was the Dawson to my Joey (oi, I should not watch Dawson's Creek right before I blog). 

I know people move on and that's a part of life but I'm frustrated because I want to break off from him a little bit but I'm afraid to.  We've been inseparable since grade 8.  We've laughed together and cried together and fought at times.  We made plans together.  For example, during our first year of post secondary, he told me that if he ever won the lottery, he would take me to Mexico.  That night was so much fun.  We went to a movie and then we went and grabbed some coffee and went for a nice long walk and talked of the future.  What plans we had made for ourselves and how the other would play a part in it.  And then for a moment, I thought that he was going to kiss me.  And that's when I stopped our walk and decided that it was time to go.  After that moment, things changed for me.  He was my first date.  Without it ever being a real date.  There were so many times that I wanted him to take me out on a real date and then when there was the chance of one actually coming to fruition, I didn't let it happen. 

The old him is gone now.  He's changed so much since then that I barely know him anymore.  I've changed though too.  Everyone that I have known since grade 8 has changed and obviously it was bound to happen.  I mean, he is done school and the rest of us are in our 4th years.  I just wish that things didn't have to change so quickly.

We all have a part to play in each others lives and I just don't want him written out of my script.

I just created my very first handout for a class. 

I feel like I'm one step closer to becoming a teacher. 

Yay.

I'm really tired of school now.

November is the only month that seems to drag forever.

I have a midterm on Society and Education (aka EDPS 360) tomorrow.  I'm sorta ready but not really.

I have to meet with people who are running the different Catholic School Boards in Alberta today.  The best thing about it is that I get to hang out with Tom. 

Also, I get Relient K things today from Chris because he is amazing.

And The Office is going to be on tonight.  Two episodes to be exact.  

And I'm listening to Josh Groban sing right now.  He's got such a beautiful voice.

Basically, this day isn't as bad as I thought that it would be.  All those other things cancel out the first 3 things.

Yay! 

Promises

I'm lonely once more

It happens every time you leave.

And I tell myself to never

Let you back into my life.

I promise myself I won't.

What a laugh.

I promise myself that

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I'm a liar.

I break promises.

No one wants someone like that.

You always come back

And take me in again.

You say you love me-

We both know that's a lie.

But you are the only one there

So I take you back

With the promise

that you have changed.

But we both know all too well-

Promises are made to be broken.

So Relient K has some new tunes out on their myspace.  People need to go and listen to this stuff.  It's pretty freakin' amazing. 

Go and check it out...

At present I am procrastinating like there is no tomorrow.  And tomorrow is a big day.  I have 2 finals that I'm not really looking forward to but at least I'm not in school until December 22. 

Jason Mraz is really nice to listen to while studying because he has a prominent beat in his music.  Jack Johnson is the same way.  As long as you can feel the beat, you can match what you are studying to that beat. 

That's how I can study while listening to music.

So I made a new layout for myself.  It's a Wonderful Life is one of my all time favourite films and so I thought that I would honour it with a layout for it's 60th anniversary.

If you haven't seen it already, go watch it.  If you have seen it before, go watch it again.

In the spirit of my layout, I'd like to share something that I have been thinking since last January.  I've been thinking it since last January because that was when I took a film studies class in which we looked at the film It's a Wonderful Life.  My prof told the class that it is a depressing film in which George commits suicide.  He also asked us if we are really supposed to believe that someone is up in the sky looking down on us and answering our prayers.  I was really offended by what he said and I told him that I do indeed believe in God and I believe that our prayers are answered.  He told me that this film is not realistic in any way at all and the characters are unrealistic.  This got me thinking and here is what I came up with...

My dad is a modern day George Bailey.  He has worked hard his entire life and he has never asked for anything in return.  He works as an accountant (okay so in the movie George is a loans officer/banker but it's close enough) and he works on the trust that people will pay him somehow.  When it comes to those less fortunate than us, he usually has them work off their payment.  For example, this past summer my dad had a client who had a rather large bill to pay off but didn't have the funds.  His is a tiler by trade and so he worked off his bill by tiling my sister and her husband's new bathroom while they were on their honeymoon.  My dad doesn't just make people work off their payments though.  My dad's cousin and his family live below the poverty line so they don't have the money.  Instead of payments or work, my dad asks my cousin and his wife for family time.  So every now and then, we get to see my cousin, his wife, and his 4 little children.  It's that simple. 

My dad reminds me of those businessmen in the old west where they bartered for payment and actually trusted that people would be good on their word.  Of course people take advantage of this fact because the current state of the world allows for people to be selfish and not have common courtesy anymore but I like to look at my dad and hope that the rest of the world will take notice of how he runs his business and composes himself. 

Without my dad, a lot of people would be lost and he really does everything he can to help everyone he meets.  He is an honest, hard working, decent man and for those reasons, he is one of my heroes.  You could take away all the money in the world (and for a while, we didn't have much money) and you could still call him the richest man in town. 

Stolen from lhimalcom...

What have you done? (The ones that are starred are ones that I've done)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain*
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it * (not romantically speaking though)
09. Hugged a tree * (I once had a pet tree named Minnie. I cried the day that they took her away.  I was only 3 or 4)
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights * (I live in Edmonton  I think that everyone who lives in Edmonton has seen the Northern Lights)
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards) *
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars *
20. Changed a baby’s diaper *
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment * (funerals are the ones that usually make me giggle...)
27. Had a food fight *
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight *
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can *
32. Held a lamb *
33. Seen a total eclipse *
34. Ridden a roller coaster*
35. Hit a home run*
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day* (HECK YES!  YAY FOR ENGLISH ACCENTS!)
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk. *
42. Had amazing friends *
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip *
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love *
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs *
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke *
59. Lounged around in bed all day *
60. Played touch football *
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud *
64. Played in the rain *
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie*
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch *
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason *
84. Performed on stage *
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music*
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children * (I worked part time as a nanny one summer...)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour* (does flying/driving places to see them in foreign countries count?  Beacuse if so then yes...)
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking *
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart * (never a fun thing to do)
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone * (more like crushed my toe...)
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours * (when I was sick)
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi *
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about *
130. Gone back to school * (Every September that I can remember!)
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey *(well, I've only read the Odyssey)
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read *
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions *
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language *
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair *
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

_{When I handed in my final today, my prof told me what she thinks of me.}

_{She told me that I am a very smart individual and I shouldn't be insecure about my intelligence.}

_{She then told me that I'm going to make a great teacher and she was impressed with the professionalism I had during my presentation.}

_{Finally, she told me that she thinks that I am a brave person because I'm not afraid to tackle issues like religion in a secular classroom.} 

_{I've never had a prof tell me any of those things before.  I must admit that it feels pretty darn good.}

Tonight I am feeling...

a little nauseous
&

extremely disappointed.

I have this feeling in the pit

of my stomach.

I hear this voice in my head saying over & over

"Why didn't you mention it before?"

But I did.  I made my feelings known quite clearly.

I created distance, as did others.

Some didn't and now they are heartbroken.

Some don't believe it to be true and cry out

"Not him!  He's my favourite.  He's awesome."

If he was so awesome, then he should have known better.

But then again, the innocent remain so until proven otherwise.

I wish that I could believe those others that are heartbroken.

But I can't. 

A few of you guys might remember Tom.  He's one of my dearest friends and I love him with my whole heart.  On Friday night, he and his girlfriend of a very long period of time (It was around 2 years and a bit I believe) were in a car accident and while Tom is still with us today, we share in the pain that he has forever lost the love of his life, Kirsten Kragh.  I had only met her a handful of times but I could see how full of life she was.  And most importantly, she made my darling Thomas J the happiest guy in the world.  And that was all that mattered.

Kragh, Kirsten
KRAGH, Kirsten Louise Born: August 29, 1982 Passed Away December 15, 2006 You are invited to celebrate the life of Kirsten Louise Kragh. Kirsten was suddenly and unexpectedly taken from us to be with the Lord. She will be forever loved and missed by loving fiance Tom Gillard, father Andreas (Jette), mother Louise, brother Shane, sister Tove (Sebastiaan), grandfather Ed, grandmother Maria, longtime friend Kristi Hauser, numerous aunts, cousins, and friends. Kirsten was predeceased by her grandmother Angie, and grandfather Neils. Kirsten touched many hearts and will be greatly missed. A Memorial gathering will be held on Tuesday, December 19, 2006 at 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. at Fountain Garden Funeral Chapel 10969-101 Street, Edmonton. A Funeral Service will be held on Thursday, December 21, 2006 at 1:00 p.m. at the Grace Lutheran Church, corner of Hardisty Drive and Sunwapta Drive in the Valley in Hinton, Alberta. In lieu of floral tributes the family asks that donations be made to the World Vision Foundation in Kirsten's memory. To pay tribute to Kirsten visit www.keesameesa.com . Sturgeon Memorial Funeral Chapel (780) 921-3900
Published in the Edmonton Journal on 12/19/2006.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!

is the sex.  Not just any sex but THE sex.  What a beautiful man.

As you can telll, I've seen the movie Casino Royale.  Twice.  In the past week. 

Daniel is by far the best Bond I've seen.  And I'm in love. :)

Waiting.

That seems to be the theme of this new year.  Waiting to finish work.  Waiting to finish school.  Waiting for the bloody phone to ring.... (okay so the guy that I am waiting for the call from is actually reading his nephews a bedtime story right now so all you girls out there can 'aw' over that fact especially since they are 5 and 6 years old and the practically worship their uncle). 

Here is the conclusion that I have come to- waiting sucks.  But patience is a virtue so I should really practice that. 

Everyone seems to be writing their reviews of 2006 so I thought that I should join in on that too.  That's right, I'm a sheep.  BAH BAH FREAKIN' BAH!  Let the fun commence...

January- pretty uneventful for me.  I had classes and work.  I hung out with my friends a lot.  That pretty much sums up January.  Oh, and judging by the number of surveys that I did that month, I was really bored.  Also, it is important to note that I voted that month and the conservatives won the election.  Yay!

February- I developed a crush on a guy, I saw Relient K in concert and met them before the show, and I had a nice reading week for the most part.  On a sad note, one of my co-workers was in a car accident and she did not make it.  RIP Crystal Gardener.

March- I asked the boy out for coffee.  Well, at least I can say that I got a good cup of coffee out of it.  Other than that, it was a waste.  Tom and his g/f broke up and then got back together 2 weeks later.  My brother and his g/f broke up and about a month later, he discovered his love for another woman who is quite wonderful. 

April- Exams happened in April.  That pretty much sums up that month.

May- I started my film studies spring class.  It was a lot of fun and I got to watch some awesome films that I had not even heard of.  I made a really good friend.  I discovered some new books that are amazing. The hippies won on the Amazing race which rocked because they were my favourite team.  The Oilers kicked some butt playing hockey. 

June: One of my friends lost one of their friends to a long battle against leukemia.  RIP Natalie.  I got into an argument with one of my best friends because he stood me up.  I asked a guy to my sister's wedding.  He actually left a few days later for Amsterdam so I didn't have a date for the wedding, but the important thing is that I asked.  I felt like shouting into an abyss at several points.  I met a cool guy and haven't seen him since.  Oh well.  What can I do?

July- My sister got married this month.  It was amazing.  I had so much fun at the wedding (I was the maid of honour) and I had a blast with the planning and everything.  I got to see all my family and we drank and danced a lot.  It was also during this month that my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary so we got to have another big party.  It was so much fun.  On a sad note, it was during this month that my cousin decided that the world had upset her enough and so she ended her life.  I had only met her a couple of times but I was really affected by this.  It wasn't that I was grieving the loss but moreso that I was so mad at her.  I have never felt that angry in my life but I found some solice in talking with my friends. 

August- Nothing really exciting happened in August.  I worked and that's about it. 

September- I bravely faced another year of university but I did it this year on my own.  With Thomas J off doing his student teaching and Jacqui off working for the term, I set about on my own.  I made some rather good friends though and they made life a lot easier.  I discovered things that I really liked and I learnt how to live somewhat independently while my parents were away on their second honeymoon (they went to Holland and Italy).  I went to see Matt Costa in concert (actually bumped shoulders with him at one point) and fell in love with him all over again.  At the end of the month, I went to see The Beach Boys.  It was one of the best nights of my life.

October- This is the month that I turned 21.  For my birthday, my brother and his g/f and my sister and her husband all pitched in and got me a ticket to see The Who.  That concert was one of the best nights of my life.  Thanksgiving was fun.  I had a great birthday.  I wrote a bunch of papers and midterms.  Woo.  I worked a lot (I think that there is a theme of working over the course of this year).  I did some writing again.  I discovered that one of my oldest and dearest friends has changed and that we no longer have much in common.  It's hearbreaking especially when he was at one point in my life the Dawson to my Joey.

November- This month seems to drag on forever.  It's probably because it is the last month of school and everything is due.  It was a frustrating month.  I did presentation after presentation and exam after exam and paper after paper.  I pulled 2 all nighters which wasn't cool at all.  In other words, oi.

December- What can I say about December?  The first bit was okay and then everything fell apart.  I did well on my finals which made me happy.  My prof told me that I am smart.  I was happy and ready for Christmas.  That was until I got the phone call that changed everything.  Thomas J and his girlfriend were in a car accident and she did not make it.  It's just heartbreaking.  I spoke to him tonight and I just wanted to reach out and hug him.  Soon after that, my great aunt died.  It hasn't exactly been the happiest of Christmases around these parts.  RIP Kirsten and Tante Wilma.

It's been an interesting year as I look back on it.  I hope that 2007 is a lot nicer to everyone.  I know that it started out rather well for me.  I mean, I got checked out today, I talked with some old friends, and I got to talk to Thomas J on the phone today. 

And besides, this year has to be good because it is the year of James Bond.

J and I are saving up to go on a walkabout Scotland trip.  It's this tour that goes from small town to small town or as I explained it to J, pub to pub. 

I began the journey to riches today by buying a scratch and win lottery ticket (okay, so I totally just typed tickey and only Jacqui and Thomas J will be the ones to actually laugh at that) and I won $5!  Booyah!  I'm already $5 closer to getting a ticket to Scotland.  yay for me. :)

"It's too cold to get out of bed."- me at 7am

"You guys actually did your readings?  That's great!"- my edps 410 prof was actually surprised that we did our homework.  We are all 4th year university students.  I think that we are pretty serious about school...

"Gettin' a little Mike & Ike action there?" -Thomas J

"Do you think that your team will win tonight?"

"Probably not." - me & Thomas J talking about his hockey team

"Whose job is it to make soup interesting?  I mean, is it like "Hi honey, how was your day?" "It was great.  I made soup interesting today!""- Jacqui after watching a soup commercial

"He's got an aura about him" - me explaining the picture that I took of Thomas J

"I want a dog with all the benefits but no responsibilities"

"It's like friends with benefits.  With your dog."

"Right.  But without the sex."- Thomas J and Jacqui talking about his new puppy

"Tom, it's okay to love your pet but don't love your pet." -me

"OW!  THAT HURTS!!!"- me in pain after a lot of working out yesterday.

"Is it cold?"

"It's f-...yeah, there's no other way to describe it.  It's fucking cold." - me asking Jacqui about the weather.

"Fuck me it's cold!"- the moment I stepped outside after being inside for several hours.

"Where's my cell phone?"

"It's in your pocket still.  Just like last time."- I kept losing track of my cell today...

"Where is there a bus stop?"- Jacqui asking me that while standing underneath the bus stop sign...

"Where the hell is our bus???" - both Jacqui and myself said this numerous times in numerous ways...

There were more but I really don't have the energy to write anymore.  And I'm tired so my brain is getting fuzzy.  Enjoy the quotes that I have given you though and if you don't appreciate them, then I really don't care.

People should go listen to this band right now....

This video just amazes me.  For all those people out there that say that one person can't make a difference, this just proves them all wrong. 

You can read about the movement that this man has created

here

and

here

and

here

So now that we have learned all about how Juan Mann can change the world in his own way, let's see if we can change it in our own way. 

I'm sending out a virtual hug to everyone who stops by my blog from now on.

Into the Dark by Ben Lee

Feelin' Better
Since I surrendered
You can't Climb
'Till you're ready to fall
You're not a land mine
You're not a gold mine
No you're not mine at all

So tell me baby
Can you hear me?
I sent a message out into the dark
It's a mystery
When you're near me
I've gotta find my way to your heart

I learnt my lesson
First impressions
More often right than wrong
It's not a slow dance
This modern romance
Feels like we've already waited too long

Don't worry baby
'bout how it should be
I sent a message out into the dark
I'd rather talk to you
About how it could be
I've gotta find my way to your heart

Instrumental

I was one of those
Breathing tornadoes
But now I live at the eye of the storm
And it's all faded
Then since the separation
Since I let your love keep me warm

You tell me baby
That you can feel me
I sent a message out into the dark
When I kiss you
That's the real me
I've gotta find my way to your heart

So tell me baby
Can you hear me
I sent a message out into the dark
It's a mystery
When you're near me
I've gotta find my way to your heart
I've gotta find my way to your heart
I've gotta find my way to your heart

It's funny how a certain song can be played and it explains everything that you are feeling.  I think that I bought my Ben Lee cd (Awake is the New Sleep) at the right time.  I'm confused and I'm trying to figure out how I feel about someone and how he feels about me.  And this song just really suits everything that I am going through right now.  If you guys would like to hear it, go here.

1. What time is it? 23:13

2. A is for age? 21
3. Any bad habits? biting my nails
4. Are you a daredevil? not really.
5. Are you a flirt? not really
6. Are you a pyromaniac? not quite but fire is cool
7. Are you afraid of commitment? no
8. Are you always ready to learn? hahaha.  No.  Sometimes I like to just sit there and just not think at all.
9. Are you an alcoholic? no
10. Are you eating anything? no.
11. Are you happy with your given name? very much so
12. Are you in love with anyone? not in love.  but I do have some feelings for a certain someone...
13. Are you mean? sometimes.  I try not to be but my sense of humour comes across that way sometimes.
14. Are you missing someone right now? yeah
15. Are you named after anyone? yes.  My great grandmother. 
16. Are you too shy to ask someone out? yeah.

17. Are you trendy? HAHAHAHAHA
18. At what do you want to succeed? um, sure...

31. B is for booze? and C is for cookie and that's good enough for me.
32. Beach, Mountains or city? City
33. Bedtime? whenever I fall asleep
34. Been in a car accident? I was a passenger when our van got bumped a little bit
35. Been in somones bed? hasn't everyone?
36. Been out of province? yeah
37. Been to church this year? more than once
38. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? um, it was from a friend in Wisconsin.
39. Believe in yourself? yes
40. Best Birthday present? um, my digital camera was amazing.  That and my ticket to the Who
41. Best friends? Jacqui, Thomas J, my sister and brother
42. Best memory of your life in the past ten years? omg, I have no clue.  That's a lot of time to go through. 
43. Best physical feature? I like my eyes
44. Birthday? Oct 7,1985
45. Birthplace? Edmonton Alberta
46. Blonde or brunette guys? depends on the guy
47. Blonde or brunette girls? why would I care?
48. Bought something for over $200? yes.  My sister and brother-in-law's wedding gift.  And textbooks.  Yay!
49. Boxers or briefs? why wear anything?

51. C is for career? Student at the moment as well as retail
52. Can you do the splits? HAHAHAHAHAHA
53. Can you keep secrets? yeah

54. Can you multitask? Yeah
55. Can you whistle? Yeah
56. Cats or dogs? between those two?  Cats
57. Cherry or blueberry? strawberry
58. Chevy, ford, Dodge, or other? does it really matter?
59. Chocolate or vanilla? vanilla
60. Coffee or Hot Chocolate? coffee
61. Coke or pepsi? they are the exact same thing to me
62. Comedy or horror? Comedy
63. Cried yet? Not today.
64. Croutons or bacon bits? bacon bits.
65. Current location? my basement

66. D is for dad's name? Peter
67. Desribe your bed? amazingly comfortable and warm
68. Diamond or pearl? diamond
69. Disney or Warner Brothers? old school Disney
70. Do fish have feelings? No.
71. Do people comment you on your scent? it depends if I remembered to shower that day...I get lazy around finals :P
72. Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? only when they really aren't any of those things.  And when they don't actually try to get a job even though there is a boom in the market in Alberta
73. Do you agree that it is better to love and lose someone then never to have loved at all? Yes
74. Do you believe in an afterlife? Yes.  It's called heaven
75. Do you believe in love? Yes
76. Do you believe in soulmates? Yes
77. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? For the most part, yes
78. Do you dance in front of the mirror? maybe...

79. Do you enjoy what you do? yeah.  it has it's good moments

80. Do you ever have to beg? no

81. Do you fear anything about the future? yes
82. Do you have a b/f or g/f? no. :(
83. Do you have a crush? heck yes
84. Do you have a journal? yes
85. Do you have any enemies? oh probably
86. Do you have any pets? do fish count?
87. Do you have any piercings? just my ears
88. Do you have more girl or boy friends? I don't really know.  I think that it's about equal now.

89. Do you know anyone famous? um, sorta
90. Do you know how to play poker? nope.  It baffles me completely
91. Do you like banana sandwiches? I used to.  I haven't had one in forever.
92. Do you like someone right now? yes
93. Do you like the city, town, or coutry the best? City
94. Do you like the person who sent this? I've met her only 1 time but she seemed cool
95. Do you like thunderstorms? yeah!
96. Do you like to drive fast? I don't drive...
97. Do you like to sing in the shower? Yeah.  I love singing everywhere basically
98. Do you like to sing? YES!
99. Do you like your handwriting? yeah.
100. Do you plan on having kids? yes
101. Do you plan to get married? when I meet the right man, yes
102. Do you regret something? Yes.  I regret a lot of things from my younger days but I'm making up for that now with my attitude of no regrets
103. Do you shower daily? yeah
104. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no
105. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no
106. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend, boyfriend, or your friends? friends obviously since I am not dating anyone
107. Do you tell your parents or your friends more? probably my friends.
108. Do you think that you are strong? yeah
109. Do you think you're attractive? I have my pretty moments
110. Do you treat people as they are, or as they ought to be? as they are

111. Do you trust others easily? depends.
112. Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? Usually yes
113. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No
114. Do you unwrap starburst with your tongue? haha.  no
115. Do you use sarcasm a lot? NEVER!
116. Do you wear contacts or glasses? glasses.  booyah

117. Do you wish on shooting stars? I've never seen one but I probably would if I did.
118. Do you wish on stars? It's silly and childish but yeah.
119. Done something you regret? at one point in time? yes
120. Drank any alcohol? Yes
121. Dress code? that of an education student
122. Drink Starbucks? Yeah
123. Drinking? what about it?

129. E is for essential items to bring to a party? myself
130. Ever been in love? yes
131. Ever been toilet papering? no
132. Eye color? hazel

133. F is for favorite song at the moment? Into the Dark by Ben Lee

134. Fall or spring? Fall.
135. Favorite alcoholic drink? rum & coke but I'm also loving red wine these days
136. Favorite board game? Candyland
137. Favorite brand of clothing? converse
138. Favorite car? don't have one
139. Favorite card game? Crazy 8s
140. Favorite cartoon? Futurama; God, the Devil, and Bob; and Family Guy
141. Favorite character? from a cartoon?  I don't really have one
142. Favorite cologne & perfume? Purple Orchid by CK. 
143. Favorite color(s)? I like most colours
145. Favorite day(s)? um, I'm not really partial to a specfic date
146. Favorite day of the week? Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat
147. Favorite day of the year? I love Easter, Christmas, and Thanksgiving
148. Favorite dog breed? none really
149. Favorite dress code? comfy?
150. Favorite drink? coffee and tea
152. Favorite fast food restaurant? A&W
153. Favorite flower? don't really have one
154. Favorite food? pasta.  and chicken
155. Favorite ice cream? cookie dough
156. Favorite magazine? SPIN
157. Favorite male and femals singers? Matt Costa.  I don't really have any favourite female singers...
158. Favorite month? October and December
159. Favorite movie? Singin' In the Rain, Dead Poets Society, That Thing You Do
160. Favorite number? 24, 7, 13
161. Favorite new food? um, I haven't had any new foods lately.
162. Favorite pastime? reading, writing, listening to music, hanging out with friends, watching movies
163. Favorite place to be massaged? I love getting my head massaged.  And my back

164. Favorite place to hang out? St Joes.  The ed lounge.  home
165. Favorite radio station? Shine FM
166. Favorite restaurant? BPs, Bul Go Gi, Mirabelle
167. Favorite season? Fall

168. Favorite smells? vanilla, rain
144. Favorite sound? an acoustic guitar, laughter, certain voices
171. Favorite sport to watch? figure skating, hockey, curling
172. Favorite sports? first of all, the numbers are wrong and secondly, baseball
173. Favorite tv show? House, The Office (US one), the Oc, Gilmore Girls, Amazing Race
174. Favorite time of day? when I go to the gym with my mom
175. Favorite web site? facebook, myspace, imdb
176. Fears? being alone
177. First enemy? my ex best friend in grade 5
178. First favorite musician? Don't even try to make me answer that question.  There are way too many answers to that
179. First job? babysitter
180. First name? Caroline
181. First piercing? age 9
182. First screen name? cl_tigger14
183. First tattoo? don't have one
184. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? hair.  eyes. ring finger.
185. First thing you think of in the morning? ugh.
187. Five good friends? Jacqui, Tom, Darren, Magda, Christina
188. Ford or Chevy? Chevy
189. Full name? Caroline Patricia Nicole Lucas
190. Future child's name? I'm partial to the names James, David, Euan, Anna/Anne, Micayla

191. G is for your favorite type of gum? I like the Dentyne Shiver
193. Gone over your cell phone bill? not really
194. Gone snowboarding? no.  Don't really plan on it either
195. Good or bad boys? haha.  I don't really know... I like the bad boys because they intrigue me but I could never be with one.
196. Good or bad girls?  Why can't these questions be combined?
198. Green or blue? Green
199. Green or purple grapes? green.
200. Guys or girls? Guys
201. Guys with peircings and/or tattoos? I'm not a fan of the piercings or tattoos

202. H is for hometown? Edmonton, Alberta
204. Hair color and length? brown, medium length
205. Hanging out or chillin? chillaxin
206. Has a smile ever changed your day? Yes
207. Has a stranger ever helped you? Yes
208. Have you danced in the rain? Yep
209. Have you drank? haven't we covered this one before?
210. Have you ever been heartbroken? yes.
211. Have you ever been in a fight? yes
213. Have you ever been on a cruise? Nope
214. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes
215. Have you ever been on stage? Yes.  I was in drama for a long long time
216. Have you ever been tickled so bad you couldn't talk? Yes
217. Have you ever been tickled so bad you cried? Yes its awful!

218. Have you ever broken a bone? more like crushed my foot
219. Have you ever broken someone's heart? I don't really know
220. Have you ever cheated? not to my knowledge
221. Have you ever come close to dying? no
222. Have you ever cried during a movie? all the freaking time
223. Have you ever cried over a girl or guy? Yes
225. Have you ever dated one of your best friends? Yep.
226. Have you ever decided to leave someone behind? um, no
227. Have you ever dyed your hair? yes
228. Have you ever fallen asleep in school? yes
229. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? no
230. Have you ever had more than five different serious relationships? no
231. Have you ever kissed someone you didn't know? no
232. Have you ever laughed for no reason? yeah
233. Have you ever liked someone and didn't tell them? Yeah
234. Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry? I don't think so
235. Have you ever loved someone and then had the relationship end? sorta
236. Have you ever met Santa? um, at the mall yes
237. Have you ever "passed on a kindness"? yes
238. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No
239. Have you ever played truth or dare? my friends and I played it in high school all the time.  We all pretty much picked Dare
240. Have you ever protested? not to my knowledge
241. Have you ever run away from home? not
242. Have you ever smiled for no reason? Yes
243. Have you ever smoked anything? no
244. Have you ever stayed up all night waiting for someone to call? not all night
246. Have you ever walked in the rain without an umbrella? yes.  it was amazing
247. Have you ever went camping? when I was little, we went all the time
248. Have you had your birthday this year? nope. 
249. Height? 5'9" or something like that

250. Honestly what do you like about yourself? a lot of different things
251. How are you feeling? tired of this stupid survey thing
252. How are you today? tired
253. How do you decide if you like someone? It's not a decision.  It's just something that you feel right away.
254. How do you drive? not at all
255. How do you like to fall asleep at night? with my head on my pillow
256. How do you release anger? I clean.  And vent.
257. How do you see yourself? my odd self.
258. How is the weather right now? NASTY. snowy and cold and windy.
259. How many cities have you lived in? one.
260. How many kids do you want? 3
261. How many lip glosses do you have? a lot
262. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? I'm not putting this in an email.  It's going on my blog

263. How many people have a crush on you right now? no clue
265. How many rings before you answer the phone? 1 or 2
266. How many states have you lived in? none
267. How many tattoos do you have? none.

268. How many times you failed your driver's test? I've never taken it
269. How many wisdom teeth do you have? all of them

270. How many years at your current job? almost 3
271. How much money would it take to have you absolutely give up the Internet for one year? $500 000
272. How much time did this take? Well, it is now 00:19

273. How often do you get together with the family? every Sunday
274. How old are you today? 21
276. Hugs or kisses? both
277. Hugged someone today? Yeah
278. Hugs from freinds or hugs from gf/bf? everyone

279. I is for instruments you play? bass guitar, vocals, piano
280. If you could build a house anywhere where would it be? Scotland
281. If you could give a birthday gift to anyone, living or dead, to whom would you give it to? I don't know
282. If you could have any job you wanted what would it be? writer
283. If you could have one super power, what would it be? reading minds would be cool.
284. If you could have one wish come true, what would you wish? to be happy
285. If you could play an instrument, what would it be? guitar. 
286. If you could take a vactaion anywhere in the world where would it be? Scotland!
287. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to? my family
289. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? fuscia
290. If you were another person, would you be friends with YOU? I don't know.
291. Initials? CPNL
292. Is it right to flirt if you have boyfriend or girlfriend? not really
293. Is the glass half empty or half full? full
294. Is there something that's irritating you? Yeah

295. J is for jam or jelly you like? Strawberry

296. K is for kids? what about them?

297. L is for living arrangements? living at home for free!

298. Lake or ocean? Ocean
299. Last beverage drank? some pepsi at work
300. Last CD played? Phoenix: LIVE! ThirtyDaysAgo
301. Last food consumed? as in NOT liquid? A sandwich at 730pm
302. Last kiss? hm...
303. Last movies you watched? Wedding Singer
304. Last person to call you? No clue
305. Last person to go to the movies with? Jacqui.  We went to see Freedom Writers

307. Last person that said I love you? My dad I think
308. Last person that texted you? Jacqui.
309. Last person that took your pic? Dad
310. Last person you called? mom
311. Last person you chatted with? Jacqui
312. Last person you hugged? Henry
313. Last person you instant messaged?Jacqui

314. Last person you kissed? no one recent
315. Last person you missed? Dave
316. Last person you said I love you to? Dad
319. Last phone call? home
320. Last time you cried during a movie? I have no clue
321. Last time you played spin the bottle? Never
322. Last time you skinny dipped? never
323. Last time you smoked anything? never
324. Last time you stayed up all night waiting for someone to call? never .
325. Last time you went camping? no clue 

326. Last time you were stressed? last Friday
327. Last website visited? www.google.ca
328. Least favorite things? stupid people and the word "cussing"
329. Lefty or righty? lefty
330. List a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special? Jacqui, Tom, Dave, my family, Hallie

331. List a few teachers who aided your journey throughschool? Mr Stelter, Mrs Shewchuck, Mr Campbell, Dr. Sheard, David Grant
332. Listen to the radio? rarely
334. Loaned out money? when friends/family need it
335. Long hair or short hair on boys? shorter
336. Long or short hair on girls? medium
337. Love or lust? Love

338. Love or money? Love

340. M is for mom's maidenname? Dale
341. Mad? no
342. Making out or Kissing? kissing
343. Marital status? Single
344. McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds
345. Met someone special? not sure

346. Mood? tired
347. Most missed memory? I don't know
348. Music or tv? Music

349. N is for name of your best firends? Jacqui
351. Name five people you enjoy spending time with? Jacqui, Tom, Darren, Dave, Lisa
352. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile? Jacqui, Tom, Darren, Christina, Magda

353. Natural hair color? brown
354. Name something pretty? ME!
355. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time? Magda, Christina, Jesse
356. Nicknames? C, c-dog, Caro, Cadia, Caroline-y, Caro-y
357. Night or day? night

358. Number of keys on your key ring? 2

359. O is for overnight hospital stays? none
360. On the phone or in person? Person
361. Overused phrase? "seriously" and "so..."

362. P is for phobia[s]? heights, spiders
367. Pink or purple? Pink.
369. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese
370. Pulled an all nighter? yep

371. Q is for quote you like? "Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but rising each time we fall"- Confucious

372. R is for relationship that lasted the longest?  I'm waiting for a real relationship still
374. Relationships or one-night stands? relationships
375. Right now what are you dong? cursing the fact that I'm doing this bloody thing

376. S is for sex? um, not till marriage.
377. Say at least one nice thing about the person who sent this to you? You seem to be a cool person
378. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings.
379. Scary or Romantic Movies? Romantic
380. Shoe size? 10-11.  I have monster feet
381. Shoes or sandals? shoes
384. Siblings? an older sister and brother in law, and an older brother
385. Sign? Libra
386. Silver or gold? White Gold
387. Spontaneous or planed? planned
388. Summer or winter? winter

389. Sunset or sunrise? both are amazing

390. T is for Tattoo? we've covered this.  I don't have one
391. Tall or short boys? tall or at least taller than me
394. Technology or art? art
395. Tell us about your scars? I'm a clutz
396. The last CD you bought? Phoenix- Live! cd
397. Think your attractive? sometimes
398. Thinking about? is the end of this survey near?
399. Throw out a line to the song you're listening to? gamble everything for love.

400. U is for unique trait? I can tell you what movie someone is talking about from just a few descriptors.

402. V is for vegetable you love? tomato (which is technically a fruit but I don't give a crap)

403. W is for worst trait? I'm stubborn
404. Water or milk? water
406. Weakness? certain guys
407. Wearing? jeans, rk zipper jogger, work shirt, yc shirt underneath that
408. Went Camping this year? nope
409. Went shopping this year? yeah
411. What are the last four digits of your phone number? 0893
412. What are three of your favorite things? friends, music, the internet
413. What are three of your least favorite? stupidity, laziness, and exams
416. What are you hoping for? that he likes me too
417. What are you listening to right now? Ben Lee, Into the Dark
419. What are you reading? nothing at the moment
420. What are you think about? this stupid survey
421. What are you waiting for in your life? for everything to fall into place
425. What class in school do you think is totally useless? engl 300.
426. What color is your bedroom? white
427. What color is your bedroom carpet? the generic grey/blue carpeting
428. What color pants are you wearing? jeans
429. What color underpants are you wearing right now? black.  how sexy is that?
430. What did you do today? school, work, and hung out with my sister.
431. What did you do last night? napped
432. What did you have for dinner? a sandwich
433. What did you last dream about? no clue
434. What did you watch on TV last night? House, Gilmore Girls and American Idol
435. What do you always get complimented on? my glasses
436. What do you and your parents laugh about? lots of things
437. What do you carry with you at all times? cell, wallet
438. What do you do most often when you are bored? watch TV, go online
440. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? usually I just have some tea & crackers

441. What do you find annoying in girls? when they act dumb.  we fight dirty as well

442. What do you look for in a guy or girl? I could list everything but there are about 50 things that I am looking for in a guy
443. What do you look forward to most in the future? lots.  I can't wait to graduate and get married and start a family
444. What do you miss most about being little? the innocence of it all
445. What do you think of this person? which person?
446. What do you try to do "perfectly"? my job.
447. What do you want in a relationship? lots of things
448. What do you want more than anything else in the whole world? Love

449. What do you want right now? this stupid survey to be done
450. What do you wish you knew then that you know now? the answers to all of the exams that I have taken
451. What does you name mean? I've heard that it means "Woman of God", "strong", "song/melody", "powerful"
452. What feature are you most inseure about? my body
453. What hurts you the most? being lied to
456. What inspires you? love.
457. What is most important in life? love. :)
458. What is on the floor of your closet? lots of things.  I'm kinda a packrat
460. What is the most embarrassing CD in your collection? I don't really get embarrassed by my music
462. What is your bedroom like? comfy.  And messy at the moment.  It has all the comforts of home.

467. What is your favorite lunchmeat? black forest ham
468. What is your favorite meal? pasta in general is amazing
473. What is your favorite thing for breakfast? coffee
476. What is your least favorite food? Chinese
478. What is your locker combo? I haven't had a locker in 4 years
479. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? Dead Poets Society
481. What kind of perfume are you wearing? none
482. What makes you cry? lots of things
483. What makes you happy? lots of things
484. What missed opportunity do you regret? nothing really

485. What movie do you really wanna see? Catch & Release
487. What school do you go to? University of Alberta
488. What soap do you use? the kind that is provided by my parents.
489. What song seems to reflect you the most? Into the Dark by Ben Lee
490. What time do you wake up in the morning? 745ish
491. What time is it in Albania now? the question really is "who really gives a fruitcake?"
492. What time is it where you are now? 01:09
493. What type was your first car? I don't have one.
494. What was the best advice ever given to you? Remember- Do what you want and want what you do.
497. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? Gilmore Girls last night was pretty tough for me at the end
498. What was the supidest thing you have ever done? I do stupid things on a daily basis
499. What was your favorite toy as a child? my teddy bear
500. What was your first kiss? what kind of question is that?
501. What was your most embarrasing kiss? none of them have really been that embarrassing
502. What were you three favorite toys as a child? my teddy bear, polly pockets, and barbie

503. What would you like to accomplish before you die? a great many things
504. What would you like to invent to help someone in your family? a cure for alzheimers
505. What's a major turn on for you? musicians
506. What's in the trunk of your car? the body of the last person who kept asking me about my car that I don't have
507. What's in your pockets? scrap paper and lip gloss
508. What's in your purse? lots of crap
509. What's most important, strong in mind or strong inbody? both
510. What's one thing you can't live without? food, water
511. What's on your mouse pad? nothing
512. What's something about the opposite sex that you don't get? their rationale
513. What's something you can't wait to say? I'm on a plane to Scotland!
514. What's the best thing you have ever won? when I won the chance to go play baseball on Telus field
516. What's the most interesting thing you have ever done while your parents were away? got drunk at a birthday party. 
517. What's the next CD(s) you're going to get? Some more Phoenix cds
518. What's the worst thing a friend could do to you? lie to me.  we've been over this
519. What's under your bed? books
522. What's your favorite item of clothing? my jeans and my death cab hoodie
528. When did you last talk to the person that you like? on Saturday
530. When have you needed a friend most? when I was dealing with stupid crap like my cousin's suicide

532. When was the last time you felt stupid? haha, every day
533. Where are your second homes? St. Joes
534. Where do you cry? my room usually
535. Where do you eat? usually in the dining room
536. Where is your favorite place to travel? Europe
537. Where would you rather be? no where really
538. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon? europe
539. Where's your favorite place to be? home
540. Which came first the chicken or the egg? chicken
541. Which do you prefer sushi or hamburger? hamburgers.
542. Which of your senses is the most important to you? they all pretty much rock
543. Which friend is the funniest? they are all pretty hilarious
544. Which friend is the most blond? Franckie
545. Which friend is the nicest? I don't know.
546. Which friend is the tallest? Josh
547. Which finger is your favorite? left ring finger
548. Which people do you trust the most? Jacqui, Tom
550. Who are your friends? they know who they are
553. Who did you last yell at? not a clue
554. Who do you miss most right now? him
555. Who do you want to be? myself
556. Who has never given up on you? mom and dad
557. Who is fighting the hardest battle you know? Angela and Tom are pretty much fighting very hard battles.
560. Who is the best pet you have ever had? Podgy
561. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Christina
562. Who is the last person you spoke to on the phone? a customer at work.
563. Who is the most lovable person you know? I don't know.  Most of the people in my life are loveable
566. Who sent this to you? I found it on Gabe's blog
568. Who was the last person you danced with? It was a dance party at work to Johnny Cash
570. Who will you love forever and ever? my family
572. Why did your LAST relationship fail? because he was a jackass
573. Wish you could go back in time and talk to? many different people
574. Worst feeling in the world? helplessness, lonliness
575. Would you ever bungee jump? no
576. Would you ever date one of ur x's? I went out with the same guy 3 times.  Does that answer that question?
577. Would you have kids before marriage? No
580. Would you like to get married? Yes
581. Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich
584. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could go to a far far away place? no because you need to take responsibility for your actions. 

585. X is for x-rays you've had? for my crushed foot and the dentist

586. Y is for yummy food you make? I love baking
587. You know I'm around when you hear? me and my friends talking and laughing
588. You like Britney Spears? she should buy some underwear and try staying home with her kids instead of out partying it up with all the backup dancers of the world
590. You've been hurt seriously? um, crushed foot= seriously hurt

593. Z is for zodiac sign? this has been asked already and so I refuse to answer again

594. What time is it now? 01:30  THANK THE LORD!

I hate feeling sick. 

There are times in our lives when we read things and they just remain with us for no uncertain terms.  I read several stories in grade 10 that changed my perception of literature and although this is a rather simple and silly story, it was one that caught my eye and I never forgot it.  Everyone should read it and get a smile out of it.  For your reading pleasure, I present to you "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". 

A little embarrassing, no?

In other news, Relient K is playing on Conan tonight.  Yay!

"Come Right Out & Say It"

by Matt Thiessen

I'd better rest my eyes
Cuz I'm growing weary of
This point you've been trying to make
So rather than imply
Why don't you just verbalize
All the things that you're trying to say

Thought things would turn out so well
But I'm beginning to see
That instead it's trouble
Into a pattern we fell
Of prolonging the inevitable

Why don't you
Come right out and say it
Even if the words are probably gonna hurt
I'd rather have the truth
Than something insincere
Why don't you
Come right out and say it (come right out and say it)
What it is you're thinking
Though I'm thinking it's not what I wanna hear

I gotta check my pride
Because I was starting to think
I was starting something good
I couldn't start it this way
I was sinking in retrospect
And understanding that I misunderstood
I'd like to make up your mind
And then this decision locks up
So tight it couldn't be touched
Thought you were being so kind
But keeping your mouth sealed shut
Rather than just opening it up

Why don't you
Come right out and say it
Even if the words are probably gonna hurt
I'd rather have the truth
Than something insincere
Why don't you
Come right out and say it (come right out and say it)
What it is you're thinking
Though I'm thinking it's not what I wanna hear

And I tried
To guess what goes on in your head
Cuz in your mind
I just might find
All those things you left unsaid
And I'll try to maybe not regret anything
Later on after I'm gone
You'll wish that you
Had listened to me (listened to me)

Why don't you
Come right out and say it
Even if the words are gonna hurt
We're better off this way
Why don't you
Come right out and say come right out and say
What I know you're thinking anyway
Why don't you
Come right out and say it
Even if the words are probably gonna hurt
I'd rather have the truth than something insincere
Why don't you
Come right out and say it (come right out and say it)
What it is you're thinking
And just what it is you're thinking

Relient K always seems to come out with a song right when I need to hear a certain message and I find my solace in it.  As of yesterday, my employment with HMV is coming to an end.  I put in my two week notice due to the fact that my employers have backed out of giving me a promotion that was promised.  I am so tired of being taken advantage of that I decided that this was the last straw.  I obviously do not mean enough to the company for them to be loyal to me, so why should I be loyal to them?  I mean, I love my job and all but I have bills to pay.  And obviously this job wasn't going to pay them.  There are a few things that I will miss after March 17th (my last day). I will miss the free tickets to concerts.  I will miss the promo copies that we got on occasion.  I will miss the discount.  But most of all, I will miss the people.  A few people in particular actually.  If everyone knew how great these people are, they would understand how sad I am about leaving behind a place that I have worked hard for over the past 3 years.  Let me tell you a little bit about our staff in the video department...

Aaron.  He's my supervisor and he's kind of a prick sometimes.  At present, I am extremely angry with him and despite the fact that he was an amazing supervisor, I think that I will always remember him as the guy who screwed me over. 

Jamie.  He is our security liason and resident Anime/video games expert.  He's kind of abrasive at times but at the truth of the matter is that he cares about the people in our department.  He cares more than he lets on and more than people think. 

Eric.  What can I say about the guy that used to hit on me a lot and follow me around?  Well, he's an asshole and he's creepy.  But every store needs one of those guys...He was usually nice to me (because he was hitting on me) and so he cares in his own stalkerish way. 

Andy L.  To be perfectly honest, if I never saw him again I would be happy.  He annoys the hell out of me.  He annoys me so much that one day, he was hovering around me and getting in my way while I was trying to fix the printer.  Finally I shouted at him "GO FIND SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE TO DO!"  Yeah.  I get rage when I think of him.

Sophie.  I call her my Sophist.  She is this crazy and free person who doesn't care about what anyone else thinks.  She listens to Rob Zombie and loves horror films.  She is one of my closest friends at work. 

Kristi.  She's getting married in July.  And she's getting my promotion.  I don't think that I'm going to miss her all that much. 

Luke.  He's the new guy and he's already made an impression on me.  Okay, so on the first day, I nicknamed him Pretty Face.  He's a good person though and I wish him all the best.  He's only been at the store for a couple of weeks but I still count him as a friend.

Josh.  I have known Josh from almost day 1 with the company. He's this amazingly fun guy who makes his own sound effects while living his daily life.  He amuses me to the very core and for that I am extremely grateful.  He can make the most boring of days the most memorable.

Kirsten.  Josh's best friend.  She's is a great person too.  She's funny and smart and I have found a friend in her. 

Ryan.  He's a really decent person.  He can take a joke and give back just as good.  On the outside, he comes off as sarcastic but he's a good person.

Lisa.  I met Lisa on my first day at the store.  She is one of my dearest friends there and we've been through a lot together.  We went through the death of a friend together, management changes, promotions/demotions, frustrations with other staff, I've watched her fall in love and remain "ridiculously happy" for the past 2 years (with no end in sight), and we even gush over guys with cute accents together.  She's great.  And I'll miss her.

Dave.  What can I say about Dave?  He's this cynical musician who doesn't speak alot (unless he is talking with his friends) and he's got amazing taste in music.  But there is more to him than that.  He's got this heart of gold that is really full and he really cares but he's so afraid to show it.  He's my bad boy crush too.  He's funny and smart and talented and he has this edgy side to him because he is so freaking mysterious about his habits.  He recently quit smoking (okay he did it in January) and he's trying to improve himself.  When I found out about not getting the promotion and told him that I was quitting, he just got really quiet and was really supportive of my decision.  He was there for me when I needed a friend.

Bree.  Bree is pretty much the closest thing I have to a best friend at work.  We laugh and cry together.  We share war stories about life in general.  We mourn with each other when a family member passes on.  We tell each other about our crushes and what our plans are for the future.  We talk about school because we are in the same faculty.  We talk about our families because they are important to us.  We share pretty much everything (including our waterbottles on a rare occasion).  She's fantastic and I'm going to miss working with her.

As for the management that I will be missing...

Tammy.  She is my manager and also the same person that has somewhat screwed me over.  I love her but she's betrayed me.  I'm pretty livid about it.  She was a great manager though and I'll always remember the good times that we have shared.

Van.  He is one of the two supervisors from the audio department at work.  He is a close friend of mine and I have watched him rise in his rank here at the store.  He began as a Christmas temp about 4 years ago, became a full time worker, and then just last year was promoted to the position of supervisor.  He has been through a lot but has still come out smiling at the end.  I love this guy to pieces.

Andy.  What can I say about Andy?  He is the assistant manager of my store and he's just amazing.  He was taken aback when I shared the news of my quitting and I really do think that he was hurt by what happened as well.  He's always had faith in me and has always made sure that I know how much I mean to him.  Sometimes I think that he only sees what he wants to see but then again, I could be only seeing what I want to see in myself.  He has always made me feel like I'm special and that I belong where the cool kids work.  I do not believe myself to be a cool kid so it's hard for me to see myself as part of that group.  Anyways, I'm going to miss this guy.  He's absolutely wonderful.

There is plenty more staff that I have left off of this list but that's okay because these are the people that I dealt with on a daily basis.  There are so many memories that I am going to cherish from this job such as...

Johnny Cash Dance Parties on Monday mornings.

working Christmas Eve day with Bree and Andy.

meeting Relient K.

discovering the truth about popular bands and how they treat fans.

secret smiles with certain people.

the dance breaks that were held when DJ Tiesto's dvd was played.

the fight between Josh and Eric.

the ridiculous customers that we only could shake our heads at.

two words.  Jerry Mills.

break room chats.

when Andy wrote on the white board in permanent ink and he didn't realize it.  it stayed like that for about 3 weeks.

Antoine the paper bird that has nested in Lisa's locker.

explaining what christian crunk rock is to Andy.

and so many more things...

Anyways, this is my farewell to the store I called home for so long.  As of March 17, 2007, I will be working at another place that I call home.  That is to say that I will be working at home. 

It has finally arrived.  I bought the new Relient K album on Tuesday and I've listened to pretty much nothing else since.  This newest effort from my favourite band deserves some examination and I figured that this was the perfect place to do so.  So let us begin....

1)Plead the Fifth- This song is done a cappella and is about a conspiracy regarding the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.  It's not my favourite song on the album but it does reflect the talent that the band has in regards to harmonizing

2)Come Right Out and Say it- This is one of the tightest songs on the album.  It's about being honest with one another and telling the truth regardless of the fact that it is going to be hurtful.  It's catchy and will get stuck in your head for long periods of time.  I wouldn't be surprised if this became their next single.

3)I Need You- This is one of the heavier songs on the album.  I'm not 100% crazy about it after hearing it about a dozen times but it still shows how tight the band's music is these days compared to their previous albums.

4)The Best Thing- This is by far my favourite song on the album.  Matt T wrote it about the relationship he is in and to be perfectly honest, if a guy wrote it for me I'd probably want to marry him as soon as I heard it.  My favourite line in the song is "when I looked into your eyes/and you dared to stare right back/you should have said/nice to meet you, I'm your other half."  This song basically puts you in a great mood and you will be singing it all day long.

5)Forgiven- Another fantastic song.  It's a darker song but it's all about redemption and how we all do things wrong but in the end, God will forgiven.  Thiessen really knows how to knock you off your feet with a song and this one does exactly that.

6)Must Have Done Something Right- This song used to be one of my favourites on the album but because it's been overplayed now, I have a hard time listening to it.  That being said, it really is a great song filled with the witty lyrics of Thiessen and great musicianship in general from the band.

7)Give Until There's Nothing Left- This song brings the album to a softer level for a moment filled with the most beautiful harmonies and self realization.  This song fills your heart with an emotion that has no real name.  It just fills your heart.

8)Devastation & Reform- This song is pure adrenaline for me.  It's the kind of song that you can picture being sung in a stadium/arena.  It's almost like I can feel the bass line pulsing through my body and the only other time I've felt that was when I was at the Death Cab/Franz concert last year.  My favourite lyric is ^{"Usually I'll cause my own first hit/ It seems to me to be slightly masochistic."}

9)I'm Taking You With Me- This song is another excellent one.  Once again, it is about Matt's relationship with his girlfriend and it's all about not wanting to leave the one you love.  It's a rather sweet song that once again will get stuck in your head and never leave you.

10)Faking My Own Suicide- Despite the rather morbid title, this is a fun song about a guy who fakes his suicide in order to get the girl he loves to admit her feelings for him.  Thiessen based it off his favourite movie, Harold & Maude (which everyone should check out because it's amazing) which is about a boy who fakes his suicide to get his mother's attention.  This song takes on a different approach and is more of a folky sound.  As a fan of folk music, I must admit that I love it.  It's absolutely perfect.

11)Crayons Can Melt on Us for All I Care- The famous silly side of Relient K becomes apparent with this song.  There really isn't much else to say in regards to this track as I don't want to ruin anything.

12)Bite My Tongue- Another song that is on my list of favourites.  I feel like I can understand where Thiessen came from when writing this album because I know that I say the one thing I shouldn't say when I really should just bite my tongue.  The sharp listener will pick up on what Thiessen says, continuing on with his witty lyrics that are more relevant than the average listener believes.  Lyrics that jumped out at me are

"I said I'm always close-minded/ With an open mouth/ And the worst of me/ Seems to come right out/ But I've never broken bones/ Wth a stone or a stick/ But I've conjured up a phrase/ That can cut to the quick."

13)Up and Up- This song is another one that remains with you for the day.  I can't really find any fault with this song.  At all.  It's great.

14)Deathbed- This is Matt Thiessen's masterpiece.  It's an 11 minute song that tells the story of a man who is dying from lung cancer and how he makes his peace with God as he takes his last breath.  As you travel through this man's life, you laugh with him, you cry with him, and you cringe at the fact that you've made the same mistakes as he did.  It's about realizing that you need to change your life and start living the way that God would want you to live.  Every possible instrument that could be played by the band is played in this song.  I don't think that I will ever hear another song quite like this one.  It is also of importance to note that Jon Foreman from Switchfoot does a bit of vocals for this song.  He sings as the voice of Jesus. 

Overall, this is one of the best albums I have ever bought and I'm going to give it a 5/5.  I might be a little biased but it really is that fantastic of an album.  If you are a big fan of the band, I recommend the deluxe edition of the album because it comes with a dvd of an acoustic set as well as the "making of" and the video of "Must Have Done Something Right."

Luke Doucet is amazing.  Everyone should go listen to him now. 

This made me giggle. 

I hate writing papers these days.  My brain is fried...like this egg/smilie face....

Hopelessly Devoted to You

Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
my eyes are not the first to cry I'm not the first to know,
there's just no gettin' over you
Hello, I'm just a fool who's willing to sit around
and wait for you
But baby can't you see, there's nothin' else
for me to do I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you
My head is saying "fool, forget him",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head,
hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
hopelessly devoted to you

Jealous of your Cigarette

^{by Hawksley Workman}

<sup><sub>No muscle man, no candy cane
No pack of sexy starving wolves
No money talking, moonlight walking
Lady shocking, big crow cocking
Those ladybugs can go to blazes
Here and there go pretty faces
All of this don't mess my stuffing
Only one thing got me huffing

I'm jealous of your cigarette
And all the things you do with it
I'm jealous of your cigarette
And the pleasure that you get from it
And not me
All this time your talking no

No king, no prince with gold ring pinky
I suggest that we do something kinky
No pilot flying private plane
To smooch you on the hills of Spain
No catapult to all night kisses
That old thing just always misses
All of this don't mess my stuffing
Only one thing got me huffing

I'm jealous of your cigarette
And all the things you do with it
I'm jealous of your cigarette
And how you wanna suck on it
And not me
All this time your talking no

All this time your talking no

I'm jealous of your cigarette</sub></sup>

I bought the Fratellis cd today.  It's pretty much fantastic.

My favourite song on the album is called "Whistle for the Choir."

Check out the lyrics...

"Whistle for the Choir"

Talking to my favourite musician just makes everything....

better.

So I get to see this lovely man perform tonight.  In a little over 5 hours actually.  I'm pretty darn excited, especially since this is my "I finished another year of school!" treat. 

Booyah baby

Oh, and I passed english, so WOO!

I fucking hate linguistics.  And I apparently the world has decided that I need to suffer through more of it.

1)I'm going to Graceland today.  Woo!

2)I think that he's leaving the band.  There's just this feeling in the pit of my stomach and the fear that every time I check his blog to see if he has announced his life changing decision yet, that it says those four small words that hold so much...I'm leaving the band.  He's the coolest person that I've ever met and nothing will be the same if he leaves. 

please don't say that you are leaving.

I just had a total Office Fangirl moment...

I came into my dad's office and the radio was playing Everybody Hurts by REM.

I remember when Dwight played that in his car in the episode entitled 'The Fire'.  Everyone should watch it.

As one can obviously see, I have a new look on my blog.  It's from the show The History Boys (you can view it as a picture from the movie or for the play, it doesn't really matter considering it's the same cast). 

This show really caught my attention because it is all about history and how we interpret the facts.  It is all in the presentation of the idea that history can be talked about.  There are things to note (such as the subjunctive) and different ways to view any and every part of history.  For the first time in a long while, a film has made me think.  The first time I watched it, I didn't quite know what to say or think at the end.  I was impressed with the show, but I felt a bit disgusted after watching the behaviour of some of the teachers in it.  I felt betrayed by one in particular that I found myself looking up to throughout the film.  And then after watching it a few more times, I began to realize that it was about our failings as humans and how we can all deceive and be deceived in return.  Things are not always as they seem. 

It's an enlightening production and I learned some new words and songs by watching it.  I've also developed an urge to listen to some Edith Piaf. 

Anyways, I felt connected to this show so much that I decided to change my blog's appearance in honour of it.  Those of you who know me well enough know that I only change my blog's appearance when something really means something to me. 

Oh, and I could do with some prayers.  I'm thinking about going to live in Europe for a few months after I'm done school next year and I need some direction. Thanks everyone. :)

I really miss my best friend. 

We've been friends for the past 9 years and even though we live far apart, we're very much close in spirit.  About 3 years ago, she and her husband moved down to Arizona and the last time that I saw them was in February 2005 when I was there on my reading week trip.  We only had the opportunity to spend a few hours together but we made it really count. 

She's this little ball of fire that warms your heart and while she approaches those that she doesn't know timidly, she will make you feel like a million dollars once you do become friends.  She's the kind of person that sticks to her beliefs, even when they aren't popular (we share that qualilty) and she loves with an open and welcoming heart. 

We have the stupidest inside jokes imaginable but that's okay.  She was the first friend that I talked about boys with and we even shared crushes on a few of them.  We had a sleepover in 2003 (yeah, I know that we were a little old for them but who really cares?) and we watched this amazing miniseries called "The 10th Kingdom" and from that we discovered more inside jokes.  We were concerned with living in the now and not about what the future held for us. 

In 2004, she and her then-boyfriend were moving to Arizona to live with her parents and the day that they arrived, they sent me a message.  They got married in Vegas.  Her father came up and gave his permission (she was only 19 at the time) and he was their witness.  They had been mulling it over for quite some time but didn't actually tell anyone until after.  They had their ceremony in the church that December and I still wish to this day that I could have been there. 

A few weeks ago, I got a message from her.  They're expecting their first baby in November.  The one thing that she has always wanted to be was a mom and now is her chance.  I really wish that I could be there for her when she has her baby and for the christening but alas it is all happening when I am student teaching.  Life is just ridiculously unfair sometimes. 

Somedays I miss her so much that I could just cry.  And then I remember that I might be putting more distance between us one day.  That being said, I know that no matter how far away we are from each other distance wise, we'll still carry each other in our hearts.

This made me smile.  A lot.

I don't love him.  Not anymore.  I'm not quite sure that I ever did but I know now that I could live quite happily without him in my life.  It's a rather nice feeling.

I still haven't found my Friedrich Bhaer and I'm okay with that.  I'm still very young and I have so much that I want to see and do in this world before settling down. 

Right now, I'm just happy to be free from the only education worth having- that is to say the pain of a broken heart.

So as of this time next year, I will have another sister.  That's right, my brother finally popped the question to his wonderful girlfriend. 

It's pretty darn exciting to have another wedding happening in this house. :)

HOLY CRAP!!!!

boy, was it ever worth the wait. :)

I saw him the other day. 

He looked up and smiled that amazing and sweet smile.

I hadn't seen him in months and so I didn't think that he'd have this effect on me.

And still...

He smiles and my heart beat quickens. 

It's ridiculous. 

He's bad news and we both know it. 

He's a drinker.

He's a musician.

He's not the best kind of guy for me.

And still...

He's a nice person.

He's a smart person

He's talented.

He's everything right

And everything wrong all at the same time.

And still...

I can't stop thinking about him.

But I want to.